Dope Old People and More Stuff Than You've Ever Seen In Your Life at Coburg Market

The Coburg Trash and Treasure Market has long been the thin tether holding together my general enjoyment of life. When the walls start closing in and the light at the end of the shaft starts looking Suspicious, I know it’s been too long since I’ve had my fix.

Where else can you get called bella 100 times before 1pm, flirt with with nonnas and nonnos, barter with zias and zios, acquire freebies and bargains you never knew you needed and likely don’t at all? A dollar is a dollar, and at the trash and treasure market a dollar goes surprisingly far. And why not support the circular economy of human to human trash to treasure? All the while you are assessing and absorbing something I’d like to call: the spectacle of Stuff.

Because the Coburg Market is a spectacle. A smorgasbord for the eye to devour. Your gaze flits between incongruous items, shiny, dull, conspicuous, interesting, enlightening, useful, odd, just what you’re looking for, something you have never once thought about before but all of the sudden you must have it. There is an uncanny artfulness to said stuff.

The trash and garbage and antiques and collectibles and tools and collections – stripped of their context and thrown together on a tarp or a sheet or maybe on the bare concrete – make for poignant viewing. This is the stuff of humankind: fruits of consumerism, earthly possessions no longer wanted or needed, rendered insignificant by time or change or disuse. Clutter. Crap. Trash. Treasure?

You have never seen so much stuff in your life. Everything looks edible. You feel compelled to take home a piece of the stuff – give it context, give it place, make it useful again.

And then there are the people. The sellers are charming, kind, shifty, magnanimous, friendly or shy.

One lady who sells at the top corner of the market told me every few months she pays to send a box of stuff to poverty-stricken villages in Hungary. Although it costs quite a bit, she prefers to do that rather than donate to Salvos or Savers, as this way she knows where her stuff is going, and that it is greatly appreciated where it lands. Warm clothes, books, crockery, whatever she has on hand.

As we spoke, she shared a story from her youth, when she went to America on a holiday and just decided to stay. She was in LA, in Hollywood, working as a waitress. A man approached her and asked if she had any experience script writing. She didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that. So, he gave her a job writing scripts for two dollars per page – “and – you’ve seen a script – they’re all white margins, it was so easy!”.

The fact she was there working and living illegally wasn’t a problem.

“It was so easy in those days, you would just walk downtown, hold out your hand, and the ID guys would come up. They’d make you any ID you needed.”

For most of the sellers we spoke to, it was the social aspect that kept them returning.

The market has been operating since 1967, and many of the sellers have been returning on and off for decades. It’s intergenerational, with parents passing the love of the trash and treasure community onto their kids – everyone just keeps coming back.

There’s usually an old man, the whittler, who sells woodworks. Hand-whittled and painted mushrooms of varying size, chopping boards, spoons. Each piece is marked under $5. He wasn’t there to chat when we visited on Sunday, sadly. But we spoke with heaps of other cool people.

VICE: Hello, who are you?

I’m Liz, how are you?

I’m good, thank you, what do you do?

I do whatever I like, really. Lately I’ve been renovating my apartment, on St Kilda Road, and I’ve been decluttering my wardrobe. Which is what brings me here.

Do you do any shopping while you’re here?

I do, I bought some epsom salts, little things like that.

Have you found anything amazing here?

No.

Haha. How many times in your life have you reinvented yourself?

Every day. Every week. I love to change, I don’t want to be the same all the time. Because that’s boring isn’t it? 

What’s your best advice for life?

Be happy, enjoy each moment, and most important of all is good food and friends. And, if anyone’s pulling you down, let them know they’re pulling you down, and move on. And cut them out of your life for a while, until they want to wake up. Otherwise it just drags you down every day. We’ve all had too much pressure in the last few years to put up with any more rubbish, don’t you think?

[Liz later asked me whether I was awake. To which I replied, what does that mean? And she seemed disappointed and said oh…. And I guess I am not awake.]

I’ve been here, on this corner, for 10 years. Before that, on another corner, another ten years.

VICE: Woah. Do you live locally?

I’m just up the road, I like it when it’s really close, especially after a long day, I can’t talk any more, I just wanna go home. On Mondays I do the Whittlesea market.

Oh, wow, I didn’t know Whittlesea had a market?

It’s run by the agricultural society, it’s like this. They have chickens, too, and fresh eggs. Because the people that live in that area, they have their own produce, so they bring that. It’s concrete here, but there it’s nice and green, so come say hello.

Amazing. Is this your main income?

It is, yes.

What do you like about it?

Community. The people that do this business: they’re shifty, but they’re really nice.

VICE: Did you buy this sign here?

Gin: Yeah, from that guy over there.

What did you buy it for?

Lee: So, we run garage sales for people. So I’m going to take that sign, and I’ll do my own signage. I’ll put that out the front of the house and do “garage sale here”. I love running garage sales for people. We’re in Melton so we do a lot of them around there. 

What’s been your best find today?

Gin: The jacket, the fluffy jacket.

Do you come here often?

Gin: We’re actually market sellers. But this weekend we thought, fuck it, let’s just sleep in and do nothing. Every weekend we’re always busy, so we thought, let’s just sleep in, have breakfast… everyone’s like “where’s your stall???”

Lee: I’ve been selling here since I was a kid, my dad knows everyone, so I know everyone. We’ve been doing it together for about a year.

Gin: I’m the newbie to it, but I’ve grown to love it so much.

Why do you love it?

Lee: For me, it’s a social thing, the money is a bonus. But you meet so many people. Then when Gin comes down, he’s so into research –

Gin: – I love quirky old things –

Lee: – I’ll see something and be like eh, it’s junk, I’ll just sell it for two bucks or whatever. He researches it and is like, no it’s worth 20 or 30 bucks, it’s mad.

Power couple!!

Yeah it’s great.

VICE: What do you do?

I resell secondhand stuff.

Just at the Coburg market?

Yes, when it’s a nice day, mainly when it’s a nice day. I’m actually a stay at home dad, I’m here with my boys. I take ‘em to school, bring them home…

What kind of stuff do you usually sell, how would you describe it?

Just whatever, eclectic stuff, we’ve got everything, clothes, shoes, plates, glasses.

Where do you keep it?

We’ve got a big garage at home that’s full of stuff.

What’s your passion?

I like cars. I like Holdens, so I collect a lot of Holden stuff.

What’s your best advice for life?

For life? Take it as it comes.

Moustafa

Moustafa: You can interview me if you can find me a new wife.

VICE: Maybe if we put this online, then a new wife will find you. How do I spell your name?

No. I don’t know how to speak any English. 

Ok. Ok. Ok. How long have you been coming to the market?

Not very long. I am 78 years old!

Incredible. Are you happy with these pics of you? You look great.

Yes. They’re good. Thank you very much.

VICE: Hi, who are you?

Who am I?

Yes.

I’m George!

How long have you been coming to the market for?

This is my first time selling. I’ve been here a few times. 

And is this all you have?

It’s all I have left. This morning I had fruit, honey, apples, pears. It’s all gone.

You’ve been reduced to just a few boxes! What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in your life?

To walk away from people who wanna start trouble hahaha.

That’s a good one. No fights.

Nahhh I can’t be bothered fighting any more.

Fair enough, what are you passionate about?

My children. That’s one thing…. That’s it actually.

Are these their toys?

Nah, these are collectibles. My kids were into it, but now not so much.

We’ve been coming here for 30 years, off and on… it’s lovely, love coming here, love chatting with the customers. I just love to socialise, and markets are the best place for it.

VICE: Who’s the coolest person you’ve met?

You!

Ahahha. Omg stop it… Where’s all your stuff from?

We actually have a shop in Romsey. 

Where abouts are you guys from? Romsey?

No, we’re local, our shop’s just in Romsey.

Wow, I’ve never been there before.

Oh, it’s beautiful, you must go! If our stuff has been there for a while we take it here, you know, why not? Try and get something out of it.

I’m also asking people, what’s your best advice for life?

Be happy and healthy.

That’s beautiful, thank you!

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