Would You Try the Most Depressing Candy on Earth?

The island nation of Japan is a land built on the sweaty embrace of snacking. From the homoerotic subculture of the Pocky kiss to cups of tea that taste like "a beautiful girl's sweat," there's truly a snack for everybody in the land that gave birth to the talking toilet. Alas, even the Land of the Rising Sun can occasionally fly too close to said sun in their majestic and unending ascent towards true snack harmony.

Case in point: the painfully nihilistic hard candy created by veteran Japanese sweets maker Kanro, which solves a problem that hopefully never afflicts you. Kanro has delivered unto us a hard candy that is supposed to mimic the taste of a kiss with your fictional anime girlfriend. The confectioner has partnered with the makers of Girlfriend Beta—a wildly popular mobile dating simulator that allows you to court over 100 virtual gals—to create an "anime girl kiss"-flavored hard candy.

Or to be more precise, this new variation on their longstanding Kanro-Kanro Ame Hard Candy is meant to mimic an indirect kiss with said anime girl. What is an indirect kiss, you ask? "Our newly developed Indirect Kiss's flavor recreates the sensation of sharing a hot drink with a girl on cold day, with the two of you sipping from the same cup," reads the products page.

Seriously.

Are they hoping to cash in on some sort of preteen innocence, like the edible version of a Kidz Bop CD? Or is this simply their odd way of saying we're all way too buttoned up to handle the real deal? Who can say for sure, but it's painfully clear that Kanro isn't fucking around in their unabashed desire to let you experience what you've never thought possible.

Each box of the totally awkward and vaguely flavored hard candies comes in an illustrated tin with character cards, none of which gives even the slightest hint as to what in the hell an indirect kiss with an anime girl actually tastes like. And just in case you were wondering, it seems as though Kanro is also planning to release a "Plum-Tan" candied umeboshi with the same branding.

Screw Japanese Kit Kats. Are you brave enough to taste the physical embodiment of loneliness and desperation?