Ron Hemphill
Hey Ron! - Joining the Masons
Everybody asks me to help them become a Freemason but it's not like joining Netflix.
Hey Ron! - Welcome to the Shinydome
I'm not ashamed of being bald. In fact, I'm a proud member of the bald community. It's an honor to be in the same league as Isaac Hayes and Michael Jordan.
Hey Ron! - I Buy My Own Jolly Ranchers
Instead of finding a regular woman, I'm going to find one with an EBT card and live off her because she eats for free.
Hey Ron - My Dad Boned Some Lady
If your wife tells you to sleep with other women and you do it, don't tell her about it.
Hey Ron! - Occupy This
I can write on my sign, "I just don't like none of y'all." Because none of y'all are making any damn sense.
Hey Ron - Nothing's Worse Than a Little Power
It's funny how the tiniest bit of power can turn the nicest people into total dicks.
Hey Ron! - Eli Manning Is a Turd
I'm a New Yorker, so I love the Jets and I love the Giants—I bleed blue and sometimes green, depending on the weather—but I hate Eli Manning with a passion.
Hey Ron! - Ray Dog, Real-Life Omar
I want to tell you about a real-life vigilante I used to know named Ray Dog. He wasn’t a big guy, he was just a very, very good fighter. His two brothers were well-versed in martial arts, and they taught him how to fight.
Mixed Meats
Whenever people ask me what type of meat I like, I always say dark. It’s not that I’m racist, I just like dark meat. It’s juicier and has more flavor. Now, white meat can taste good if it’s blended, but all white meat doesn’t work for me.
Hey Ron! - Let's Address This
I'm not big on tattletales. If someone has a problem with another person he should address them by saying, "This is my problem. This is what I like or don't like."