CAPS LOCK REVIEWS
Black Veil Brides' "The Story of the Wild Ones" Is Insane and Terrible
I CAN SEE DIRTY FINGERNAILED PROTO-INSANE CLOWN POSSE FANS WITH LIP PIERCINGS IN FLYOVER STATES STOMPIN MUDHOLES INTO EACH OTHER TO THIS SHIT WHILE WEARING GIANT PILLOWY DC SKATE SHOES.
A$AP Rocky's "Long.Live.A$AP" Consists Of Very Rare Gothic Ethereal Soundscapes
NAMASTE TO YOUR FACIAL, PEACE AND BLESSINGS.
Pantha du Prince's New Record Is "Space Hippie Light Bondage Music"
"THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME WALKIN THROUGH A WIND CHIME WITH A BONER." - The Kid Mero on Pantha's "Elements of Light."
Christopher Owens - "Lysandre"
THIS DUDE HAS OUTSTANDING SESAME STREET SWAG. THIS ALBUM REVIEW HAS BE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER "SOFTINGTON."
Skream - Skreamizm Vol. 7
THIS IS MUSIC FOR DUDES WHO WEAR FLOOR LENGTH LEATHER TRENCH COATS AND GLIDE AROUND 7/11 LIKE GETTING A SLURPEE AND TAQUITOS IS A MISSION LAURENCE FISHBURNE SENT THEM ON.
The Twelve Days Of Mero - Jim Jones' "A Dipset Xmas"
YO I RECOMMEND YOU SNEAK THIS INTO YOUR OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY PLAYLIST AFTER EVERYBODY GETS DRUNK.
Rihanna's "Unapologetic" Makes Me Want To Defenstrate The Shit Out Of Eminem
THIS IS THE BACKGROUND MUSIC TO THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE A FLOCK OF COLLEGIATE FEMALES ARE PUTTING ON "SMOKY EYE" MAKEUP AND HIGH FIVING EACHOTHER WHILE DRINKING YELLOWTAIL.
The Dixie Chicks Greatest Hits Reminds Me That Banjos Are Always Racist
YO IF YOU'RE A 55 YEAR OLD WHITE MOM WHO KIDS DON'T LIVE AT HOME THIS IS YOUR MASTURBATION MUSIC B. LIGHT SOME CANDLES AND GET YOUR RABBIT MA, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.
"The Odds" By The Evens Is For Longboarding On Klonopin In The Rain
I COULD PROLLY GET DOWN WITH THIS IF I HAD A HEROIN ADDICTION.
Corrosion Of Conformity's Megalodon EP Makes Me Want To Do Sorcery
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LITTLE BABY GOBLIN THROWING A TANTRUM.
Guided By Voices Makes Me Depressed About The Future Of My Dick
I JUST GOT DEPRESSED BECAUSE IN A FEW DECADES FROM NOW I'LL HAVE A GROSS SOGGY OLD MAN DICK.