Volume 0 Issue austin
When You Gotta Stay Awake
The Shark has been to SXSW five times and has yet to sleep a wink in Austin. That’s just the way he rolls, buzzing around town like Richard Pryor on a three-day stem-bender.
Things to Do if You Are Not an Alcoholic
Drinking is overrated, and hangovers are just about the most boring thing of all time. So, for those of you strong enough to push through the suffering, or perhaps miraculously possessed of the willpower to abstain, here’s a little sugar for you.
The VICE Guide to Mixing Business with Pleasure While in Austin
You will need to neatly time your hangovers so as not to interfere with the deal-making. Never party with clients or customers. They will become suspicious that you’re trying to gain an angle on them, or that you’re just a party clown.
So You Want to Visit Austin?
Living in Austin has always been about doing nothing. In the late 70s, while the rest of Texas was hard at work farming or manufacturing or some other bullshit, Austinites were in their own little countercultural world.
Secrets, Factoids, Basics, and Hints
Texans enjoy inside jokes, homespun lingo, and getting smashed on straight corn liquor, but what they love the most is to gush on about Texas, and Austin in particular.
Rules for Drinking at a Party
First, get yourself invited to a party. This isn’t hard, as Texans will talk to anyone, especially if you seem lost or confused or simply make eye contact.
Regional Enticements
If you’re a fan of underground music history, wander by the Ritz Theater and imagine Black Flag, the Misfits, Minor Threat, Bad Brains all tearing across its rundown stage in a time before the street was filled with carnival barkers and tattooed...
Randy "Biscuit" Turner
Our old friend Biscuit passed away last year. He was a better person in ten minutes than most are in a lifetime and he remains a hero to anyone who knows anything about Austin. Now go start your own band.
Hunting and Scavenging
We’ve portrayed a variety of Austin characters and their sorted Southern predilections. Use the clues in the guide to help track down and identify representative examples.
Battle of the Barnyard Fools
Recently these two South Austin yard critters raised a shitstorm of controversy with local authorities. Things got so bad between the gringo owner of the pig and the Mexican owner of the goat that lines were drawn and blows were exchanged.