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Ashcroft knows this. Ashcroft knows. Ashcroft just Lyndon Johnsonned him. This is the most baller power move a billionaire will pull in this country until Richard Branson finally explodes the moon. Last week, Chelsea FC called an amnesty on training ground banter, and we thought the concept of it was finally dead. But it wasn't. Lord Ashcroft just resurrected banter from out of the cave in which we buried it three days ago and elevated it to heaven. Lord Ashcroft just made banter into high art. Lord Ashcroft just put the idea in 64 million people's heads that David Cameron fucked a pig.This is it: Satire is dead. Charlie Brooker already imagined this scenario four years ago as the most absurd hook an episode of Black Mirror could be hung on, and now it's real. Satire is never getting up from this. It's a knockout blow. Even if he did not stick his dick inside a pig, there is no way any of us will ever forget about it until he says the words, "I did not fuck the severed head of a pig." He can resign, refute, write a book about Lord Ashcroft doing something lewd with a swan, it doesn't matter. We will forever look at the prime minister of the United Kingdom and think, that is a man whose penis smells of bacon. Allegedly.Follow Joel Golby on Twitter.On NOISEY: Drake and Future's Mythical Collaboration Is Real, Streaming Now