The VICE Guide to Right Now
Indian Footballer Sunil Chhetri Just Beat Messi to Become the Second Highest International Goal Scorer
The veteran Indian forward just took his tally up to 70 goals.
gak of the net!
Peruvian Police Reportedly Seize Over a Tonne of Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine
The world is about to wave goodbye to over a tonne of gak worth around £73m, the marketing of which would have been lost on unappreciative nostrils anyway.
football's love of false equivalence
Unpacking The Logic Behind Calling a Footballer ‘The New Thierry Henry’
When Kylian Mbappe faces Manchester City on Wednesday evening, he will bear the burden of comparison to a true great. This is inherently unfair on a young player, and also based on a deeply flawed rationale.
The Cult: Ronaldinho
Ronaldinho was a footballer unlike any other, and a showman par excellence. For his infectious exuberance, warmth and flair, we induct him into The Cult.
football cliches and meaningless debates
Deconstructing The Arbitrary Debate Over ‘World Class’ Footballers
It seems that not a week goes by without an argument over a footballer’s ‘world class’ status. Here, we call out that frame of reference for being completely fucking pointless.
glorious juche football
Kim Jong-un Reportedly Wants North Korea To Produce The Next Lionel Messi
The Supreme Leader has got bored with intercontinental ballistic missiles, and is now focussing on nurturing North Korea’s answer to Lionel Messi instead.
UK Sports Staff
keeping it simple
The Cult: Gabriel Batistuta
This week's addition to The Cult wrote his name in football history as a prolific goalscorer for both club and country. It was for this reason that Gabriel Batistuta became better known as "Batigol".
second is nowhere
The Cult: Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo cannot countenance being second, and will not tolerate a modicum of failure. As such, he's exactly the sort of character who belongs in The Cult.
Barcelona's Post-Tax Fraud WeAreAllLeoMessi Hashtag Backfires Deliciously
We are all like that guy who committed €4.1million tax fraud, and didn't have to go to jail for it.
Liam Daniel Pierce
Even If Lionel Messi’s Tax Fraud Wrecked His Career, We’d Always Have His Video Game Covers
Look at how he's holding that magical Wii wand to his chest, thumbing that stick, smiling that smile. Couldn't you just eat him up?
Only the Hand of God Can Separate Messi and Maradona
Lionel Messi has stepped away from the international stage without equalling Diego Maradona's achievements. Yet the oddity is that, in many ways, the younger man's achievements far outstrip those of his predecessor.
messi makes a mexit
Coming To Terms With Mexit: Lionel Messi Retires From International Duty
In his anger at the state of things, Messi has taken a drastic decision. Unfortunately, everyone else is now following his lead and leaving a country in crisis. Sound familiar?