Lionel Messi

The VICE Guide to Right Now

Indian Footballer Sunil Chhetri Just Beat Messi to Become the Second Highest International Goal Scorer

The veteran Indian forward just took his tally up to 70 goals.
Shamani Joshi
gak of the net!

Peruvian Police Reportedly Seize Over a Tonne of Lionel Messi-Branded Cocaine

The world is about to wave goodbye to over a tonne of gak worth around £73m, the marketing of which would have been lost on unappreciative nostrils anyway.
Will Magee
football's love of false equivalence

Unpacking The Logic Behind Calling a Footballer ‘The New Thierry Henry’

When Kylian Mbappe faces Manchester City on Wednesday evening, he will bear the burden of comparison to a true great. This is inherently unfair on a young player, and also based on a deeply flawed rationale.
Will Magee
the showman

The Cult: Ronaldinho

Ronaldinho was a footballer unlike any other, and a showman par excellence. For his infectious exuberance, warmth and flair, we induct him into The Cult.
Sean Cole
football cliches and meaningless debates

Deconstructing The Arbitrary Debate Over ‘World Class’ Footballers

It seems that not a week goes by without an argument over a footballer’s ‘world class’ status. Here, we call out that frame of reference for being completely fucking pointless.
Will Magee
glorious juche football

Kim Jong-un Reportedly Wants North Korea To Produce The Next Lionel Messi

The Supreme Leader has got bored with intercontinental ballistic missiles, and is now focussing on nurturing North Korea’s answer to Lionel Messi instead.
UK Sports Staff
keeping it simple

The Cult: Gabriel Batistuta

This week's addition to The Cult wrote his name in football history as a prolific goalscorer for both club and country. It was for this reason that Gabriel Batistuta became better known as "Batigol".
Juan Regis
second is nowhere

The Cult: Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo cannot countenance being second, and will not tolerate a modicum of failure. As such, he's exactly the sort of character who belongs in The Cult.
Toby Sprigings
La Liga

Barcelona's Post-Tax Fraud WeAreAllLeoMessi Hashtag Backfires Deliciously

We are all like that guy who committed €4.1million tax fraud, and didn't have to go to jail for it.
Liam Daniel Pierce

Even If Lionel Messi’s Tax Fraud Wrecked His Career, We’d Always Have His Video Game Covers

Look at how he's holding that magical Wii wand to his chest, thumbing that stick, smiling that smile. Couldn't you just eat him up?
Mike Diver
Lionel Messi

Only the Hand of God Can Separate Messi and Maradona

Lionel Messi has stepped away from the international stage without equalling Diego Maradona's achievements. Yet the oddity is that, in many ways, the younger man's achievements far outstrip those of his predecessor.
Jonathan Wilson
messi makes a mexit

Coming To Terms With Mexit: Lionel Messi Retires From International Duty

In his anger at the state of things, Messi has taken a drastic decision. Unfortunately, everyone else is now following his lead and leaving a country in crisis. Sound familiar?
Will Magee