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Rich People Should Be Putting Out Better Halloween Candy, Woman Argues

Even though this was some quality 'affluent' neighborhood trolling, it's still not a bad attitude to take. Step it up, people.

by Jelisa Castrodale
Oct 15 2019, 3:55pm

Photo: Getty Images

A couple of years ago, one of Slate's "Dear Prudence" columns went hella viral when Prudence, then written by Emily Joffe, flat-out excoriated someone from "one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country" for complaining about having to give candy to trick-or-treaters whose parents were in a different tax bracket.

This garbage person, who signed the author's letter "Halloween for the 99 Percent" said that they didn't understand why they needed to give once-a-year treats to "less fortunate children," because Halloween is a holiday, not a charity. Prudence was not here for that shit, writing that she hoped that "people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks."

So yeah, Halloween has a tendency to bring out the worst in already awful people, especially those who don't have a problem talking about how affluent their neighbors are. But a recent Facebook post from someone who presumably lives in a high-dollar home, was actually… kind of thoughtful.

The author of the post wasn't identified—the Best of Nextdoor Twitter account scribbled over their face—but they said that they lived in Rancho Cucamonga, California, and they have had it up to here with "cheap candy" like Dum Dums, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers.

"We are an affluent neighborhood, and this status should be reflected in our candy provisions for Halloween," they wrote. "Standard full or KING size candy is the bar we set for our community on Halloween. If you purchased the fun size, you don't need to return them. Just keep in mind that 4-6 of those fun size bars equate to a standard size bar when you doll [sic] out that candy to trick or treaters."

OK, this is a person who gets it: Halloween is one night a year, so you might as well give all those little astronauts and Paw Patrollers and emoji—you know there's gonna be at least one kid in an emoji poop costume—the time of their little sugar-addled lives.

But, unlike Halloween for the 99 Percent, this person may not actually exist. A Twitter user shared a screenshot of what she said was the rest of the Facebook post, which ended with a disclaimer. "This is a joke, stolen from another city's page, changed to Rancho Cucamonga with some added flare [sic]," it read. "And if you started to get pissed, well good!"

Even though this was some quality neighborhood trolling, it's still not a bad attitude to take. If you live in a heavily trick-or-treated neighborhood, why not hand out the best candy you can afford? At best, you make some kid's night, at worst, you've got some top-shelf leftovers for yourself. And you've probably spared yourself a visit from a bunch of angry people with pitchforks.

Tagged:
Candy
Halloween
Nextdoor