• The Kids Are Alright, Getting Less Fat

    Forget the holiday gluttony: Kids across the US are slimming down. An encouraging new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that obesity rates among American children--particularly children from low-income families--have...

  • Fat Chance

    Worst of all, your chances of getting laid are not only reduced by looking like shit, but it would be quite a feat to get your 40-inch wide leg over, when your dick has long since been engulfed. Get fat, and your own body mass swallows your penis and...

  • How to Ruin a High School Reunion

    These events aren't depressing because you're shallow, self-pitying, lazy, or fat. It’s those things, plus all the mistakes made in the planning of the reunions. If we can work together to stop doing the following, we might make revisiting puberty...