Jerkin' It
The Gay Sex Club Next to the Vatican Is the Saddest Place on Earth
I wandered through a dark maze of long hallways leading to more doors—one of them was open, revealing a fat hairy dude lying on a bed jacking off to porn that sounded like Tim Allen screaming at his kids on 'Home Improvement.' I had entered the Bear...
Slaying the Snot-Sneezing Dragon
Guys in prison jack off so much they’ll try damn near anything. I used to spray hot water from an artificial lemon all over my sac when I busted just ‘cause I had nothing better to do. I once had a toilet in a cell with a stainless steel seat that...
How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life
There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me. I never should have given up porn.
Nick Gazin's Comic Book Love-In #69
This is my 69th comics column for VICE and I am very proud of that. I hope that you are 69ing while are reading it. I am masturbating to Penny Flame having sex with a hot tub full of Jack in the Box employees.