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Lonely Gamers Will Be Doubly Thrilled With the 'Big Tits Ramen Festival'

A soft porn-y video game series is collaborating with five Tokyo ramen shops to serve bowls of soup that are topped with suggestive arrangements of soft-boiled eggs and pork.

Could ramen, in all of its decadent perfection, really be improved upon? Chefs from all over the world fly to Japan to learn under the masters of broth-making or noodle-cutting, exchanging tips on the perfect boil time for a marinated egg or the ideal ratio of pork fat. Universally beloved in the contemporary culinary world and given the sort of worship and care of only the most esteemed of arts, ramen is on a pedestal all its own.

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But you know what it really needs? Some boob jokes.

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Photo via itmedia.co.jp

At least, that's the gist of the "Bakunyuu Raamen Matsuri" or "Big Tits Ramen Festival," a collaboration that starts this weekend between five Tokyo-based ramen shops and the creators of the soft-porny anime video game Senran Kagura. The game and its sequels revolve around a group of very well-endowed female ninjas and showcased new technologies of in-play "breast physics," undoubtedly developed to lure the salivating audience of gamer nerds.

If you visit one of the participating restaurants—which include Yarou Ramen, Ramen Tsugumi, and Akihabara Ramen Ichihana, found in the known-to-be-otaku neighborhood of Akihabara—between March 7 and April 5, you could be treated to the cheap thrill of a bowl of ramen topped with a configuration of two soft-boiled eggs (or round-ish chunks of pork) arranged to resemble the bouncy treasures of Senran Kagura's highly idealized females.

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Each participating store will be offering special booby ramen bowls, from "asshole ramen" (topped with two eggs and a questionably placed sprig of cilantro) to a mazemen-style brothless ramen with a pair of pork slabs. And, of course, the artwork to promote the festival prominently features characters from Senran Kagura, all female and all with massive bosoms.

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Frankly, the ramen isn't the most appetizing when it comes to all of the incredible offerings of Tokyo's soup scene. But the gamers who flock to the festival with the aim of immersing themselves in the novelty of big-titted cartoons will surely be thrilled.

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The gamer industry has gotten more flak for sexism than ever in the past year due to cases such as Zoe Quinn's—a female game designer who was severely harassed and inundated with threats of rape, violence, and death after releasing a game called Depression Quest in 2013. Although throwing a "Big Tits Ramen Festival" seems to be in much better humor than threatening to fuck a female gaming critic's dead corpse, it's an indication that objectifying attitudes towards women continue to rule over many gaming circles.

But if no one wants you to touch their boobs IRL, maybe the second best thing is to eat two vaguely provocative eggs on a bowl of fatty noodles.

And remember, there are always body pillows.