The Best Vibrators, Period

Shopping for a vibrator when you’re horny and confused sucks. It’s a lot like shopping for groceries on an empty stomach; you’ll leave the store with a box of powdered gravy, frozen strawberry shortcake, and some Mentos. All fine sundries, no doubt, but ingredients for a dinner of chaos. 

Ditto vibrator shopping when you’re randy, and without reason. What makes some vibrators better than others? What are the differences between a rabbit vibrator and a dildo? If your sex toy questions are foundational/in the beginner's realm, check out the VICE guide to every kind of sex toy to know your Vajankles from your E-stim paddles. Then, steer that John Deere back over here to find out which vibrators are the best for clitoral orgasms, and which will make your perineum whistle.

Everyone’s vibrator needs are different, granted. But there are some near-ubiquitous bangers out there for folks who want a little buzz with their sex toys, from a clitoral vibrator with over 58,000 reviews on Amazon, to the (surprisingly amazing) VICE editor-loved Fifty Shades of Grey sex toy line. 

Uncork the Champers, and let’s explore the specs of the very best vibrators, period. 

The legacy of the Satisfyer Pro 2 will outlive us all. Arguably the most iconic clitoral suction vibrator, it has over 58,800 reviews on Amazon, including one that makes it sound as if it was crafted by Eros himself: “By the time you hit [orgasm] number three,” writes one reviewer, “your soul will separate from your body like some Doctor Strange move. Now you've reached the need-an-Exorcism level. Palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, weirdly craving spaghetti.” I reviewed the vibrator for VICE, and was impressed by how much its air pulse clitoral stimulation can feel like getting head from a gifted sexual partner. This vibrator is designed for clitoral orgasms, but the deep pulsing sensations made mine feel even more… resounding? Omnipotent? You get the idea.

If you have a slightly bigger budget, peep the Satisfyer Pro 2: Generation 3, which I also tested for VICE. This vibe packs all the goodness of the OG, but quieter (always a plus), and the vibrations even easier to control thanks to its app-enabled technology. Plus, the Gen 3 includes a new “Liquid Air” clitoral attachment that made me feel like I was getting eaten out by Poseidon.  

… Maybe. The Enigma vibrator is by LELO, a luxury Swedish sexual wellness brand we would proudly go to arms for (we know; no one is asking). Angel Kilmister reviewed the combo G-spot and clitoral-suction vibrator for VICE, and found that it was the epitome of otherworldly luxury for your [redacted]. “The combo of internal vibration and clitoral sonic massage is pretty damn mind-blowing,” she writes, “You know when you're receiving oral and your partner slides in a couple of fingers at the optimal time? This is the best toy for replicating that crazy-hot combo.”

I was hesitant to put this one on the list, lest readers think, “Oh, she’s just being trendy and topical, because those rose suction vibes were all over TikTok.” Well, folks [assumes Captain Morgan stance], they were viral on TikTok for good reason. After trying this rose clitoral vibrator myself for VICE, I understood the hullabaloo; not only does this vibe just look cool, but it’s ergonomically cupped in the palm of your hand for easy maneuvering. As much as I’m a ride-or-die Satisfyer stan, there’s something a lot sexier to me about cupping a rosebud, instead of leveraging a handle, over my vulva. The cherry on top? It’s so compact that it would make for a great travel-sized vibrator.

I have a lot of lovely rabbit vibrators, and while I appreciate the curve of my We-Vibe for G-spot stimulation, or the ability of my Lioness rabbit vibe to give me actual biodata feedback on my orgasms, there’s just something about the sheer power of this dual motor rabbit vibrator from the Fifty Shades of Grey (I know, I know) sex toy line. The jet black vibe packs ten inches of length, an extra long rabbit-ear clitoral stimulator, and an arrow-straight shaft with a flat base that makes it easy to mount and ride into the sunset like Seabiscuit. Bonus points for the bulbous, slightly curved tip, which is great for G-spot stim. If you want a rumbly rabbit vibe that just won’t quit, this is your steed.

No shade to a certain, storied wand vibrator that shall not be named, but Fun Factory’s first wand vibrator, Vim, is coming for the crown. In general, wand vibrators are a beloved beginner’s vibrator for direct and powerful clitoral stimulation, but they’re also popular for general body massage and even perineum play (a penis-endowed friend once told me he likes to sit on the tip of his wand vibe, and rock back and forth). Not only is Fun Factory’s wand vibrator dressed in tip-to-shaft silicone that’s soft and luxurious, but it’s the quietest and most flexible wand vibrator I’ve ever used. 

As with Maldon salt and Swiss Army knives, a great cock ring is just one of those everyday carry items that’s clutch to have on hand. Lovehoney’s vibrating double-loop C-ring is a bestseller on the site, because its stretchy silicone material makes it easy to slip into, and the textured, vibrating nub goes the extra mile for clitoral stimulation. It has a 4.3-star average rating on the site from over 100 reviews, with one fan writing, “The silicone is easy to get on and off [and] the different vibration modes range from subtle to rocket launch.”

You know that feeling when a partner slides two fingers into your anus, and gently rolls them around to massage and stimulate the bumhole’s many, many nerve endings? That’s what this vibrating, textured butt plug from Playboy’s first sex toy collection achieves. Made in collaboration with Lovers, a VICE editor-favorite sexual wellness brand, the rechargeable vibe is perfect for seasoned anal play fans and n00bs alike, because it’s 3-inch insertable length makes it a relatively accessible toy for butt stuff beginners, while the added bells and whistles (a remote control for partner play; the ability to twirl in a circular motion) makes it a high-tech addition to your sex toy line-up. 

Speaking of P-spot play, LELO’s Hugo is hands-down, ass-up one of the best prostate massaging vibrators your clams can buy. For one, this toy is just handsomely designed and, as always with LELO, discreetly and luxuriously packaged. Then, there are the specs and reviews: the silicone prostate pleaser can be activated from up roughly 39 feet away with its remote control, and the toy includes not one but two motors for tag teaming 1) the prostate and 2) the perineum. Cop it while it’s 34% off at Amazon. 

As Archie Bongiovanni writes in their VICE article about the best sex toys for trans and non-binary folks, “being bombarded by super-gendered marketing, toys made with only straight sex in mind, and toys that don’t accommodate LGBTQ bodies can [feel] difficult and frustrating.” 

Strap-on dildos can feel very affirming and rad for many trans men, and this 4.6-star average rated strap-on bundle from Lovehoney not only comes with a a harness, but a vibrating dildo.  

Cute Little Fuckers is a queer-owned sexual wellness brand whose vibrators pack a lot of personality, and are designed with an inclusive mindset. As the brand’s founder Step told VICE in this interview, “Emotional accessibility is also a huge part of it. By making toys that are as fun and playful and lighthearted as possible, they help people overcome those emotional hurdles that society puts onto us [when exploring] our sexuality.” Enter Starsi, a non-phallic vibrator that the site says is a big hit amongst transfemme vibrator seekers with genital dysphoria, because it has the ability to “cover genitalia with a gently curved vulva-like feel, allowing [folks] to map new genitalia and euphoria in [their] own mind.”

Here’s to letting the good vibes roll. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.