Illustration: Esme Blegvad
The fact the dating scene is now referred to as “the trenches” by many speaks volumes. Dating apps give fanciful freedoms, yes, but they’ve also turned courtship into an Olympic sport of fuckery.The paradox of choice is overwhelmingly unhealthy. There’s also the zoomer and millennial divide to think about, as well as boyfriends getting red-pilled. Not to mention the fact we’re living in an era of optimisation, where you’re more likely to receive a job-like application from a prospective partner than meet them IRL in a bar, like the cute old days. Basically, dating sucks. But we’ve always been here to remind you of the fun, joy and absurdity that it can entail. Since launching in 1994, VICE has held your clammy hand through the birth of digital dating, the advent of ghosting, softbois and therapy-baiters. We’ve helped you figure out polyamory, advised on dick-tucking and douching, and warned you of dangerous dating devils, like ‘The Polyamorous Fuckboy’. We’ve tried to offer light relief in the hellscape, as well as more serious investigations, such as whether curved or straight dicks are better. Mind you, 30 years is a long time (also, all the photos disappeared from our pre-2015 articles), so – without further ado – here are some of our more recent favourite dating stories from this very website.
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