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Pizza Chain Reveals Meat-Topped, 'Calorie-Free' #AlternateFacts Pizza

“This pizza is positively presidential,” the restaurant chain wrote on Facebook. “It’s going to be YUGE.”

Two days after Donald Trump's inauguration, Counselor to the President and walking euphemism generator Kellyanne Conway came up with the administration's newest catchphrase: "alternative facts." ("Dear God, we're completely fucked" isn't a catch phrase as much as it's what some of us repeat between crying jags.) Wheel of Fortune contestants don't spin anything harder than Conway does, but no one believed her when she tried to pass off White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer's falsehoods as anything but … lies.


And although Conway and Spicer were both deeply criticised, they presented their "alternative facts" about the size of Trump's inauguration crowd, we're choosing to believe the "alternative facts" of Villa Italian Kitchen. The New Jersey-based chain has launched an "Alternate Fact" pizza which, it claims, has zero calories despite the mountain of meat and cheese that will be piled on top of each slice.

"This pizza is positively presidential," the restaurant wrote on Facebook. "It's going to be YUGE." And its description for the pie is gloriously Conway-esque, because although all six slices are covered with bacon, pepperoni, ham, sausage and mozzarella cheese, per their understanding of these "alternate" facts, it's TOTALLY CALORIE-FREE.

"After we saw some of the memes floating around online, we thought, who couldn't get behind a zero-calorie meat lovers pizza?" Villa Italian Kitchen spokesperson Brian Lowe told MUNCHIES. "The brand awareness doesn't hurt either."

READ MORE: Why This Turkish Immigrant Is Selling a $5,000 "Trump Pizza"

Villa Italian Kitchen isn't the first restaurant to launch a Trump-related entree or promotion, but this is the first time that a national chain has gone all-in to address that particular moment within his public relations. Villa Italian Kitchen is one of the four brands represented by Villa Restaurant Group, which operates more than 300 locations in the United States, Europe, and Mexico. (If you've hate-eaten an overpriced slice of pizza in an East Coast airport, you've probably eaten at a Villa Italian Kitchen).

But, much like the Mexican restaurant that built a Trump Wall, Villa Italian Kitchen thinks it's more about having fun than about politics. "We don't consider this a political stand. This is a lighthearted response to a trending topic," Lowe said. "We're simply trying to inject a little levity into the political atmosphere to help remedy the tension that has built up over the last few weeks."

Even though it's pretty funny, it's more political than the chain's previous promotions, which have been harmless ideas like a "Decades of Fun" sweepstakes or giving free slices to anyone born on Leap Day. Lowe says that the reaction has been largely positive though. "It seemed to go over the heads of a few, but overall, it has been positive," he told us.

So maybe not everything is terrible right now. It's up to you to decide whether that's an alternative fact or not.