Volume 19 Issue 5

  • A Hairy Situation

    It turns out Sweden's tolerance extends only so far as its armpits.

  • Vibrators Through the Ages

    Welcome to the museum that celebrates one of the most important technological breakthroughs of the past millennium: the vibrator.

  • Lights Out

    Bill Odenkirk wrote a poem to acknowledge the tragic demise of Thomas Kinkade.

  • Lap That Shit Up

    Even if you think your shit doesn’t stink, consider that at one point or another your thirst has probably been quenched by water from a septic tank.

  • Deaf Comedy Jam

    Deaf comedy hasn’t had a lot going for it ever since black people ran it into the ground in the 90s.

  • The Playstation Vita

    Lots of people don’t have to get a Vita. Should they?

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  • The Twitch

    To become Miss Snake Charmer, a revealing swimsuit and a desire for world peace aren’t enough. You must also have enough skill with a knife to remove the epidermis of a serpent.

  • Sorry Your Dog Got Decapitated

    If there’s a golden rule for people who run a dog-sitting business, it is this: Don’t let the dogs you’re watching get mauled by other dogs.

  • Lovely Owls

    I think if everyone got his or her own owl to raise we would have world peace in no time.

  • Girls Love Girls #4

    Before long, Heather is blowing smoke up Madison's ass (when played in reverse, it looks like Madison shits out smoke. And tells you to kill your parents).

  • Records

    Killer Mike is so smooth and fluid, yet hard at the same time. He’s like a nanostructured amorphous solid, or Slimer with a boner.

  • Smart as a Rabbi

    I’ve seen dead bodies before, but this is going to be rough. This one is going to sting right where my foreskin used to be.