The image of Steve Coogan is twinned with the image of Alan Partridge, who really should not be a British sex symbol, and yet...
Or: a pre-made explanation for why you are going to go mad this weekend.
You're not capable of doing anything else today, let's face it.
Today, the UK's all-time hot temperature record could be broken.
Don't worry, only another decade or so until the Central line is no longer a crematorium for living people.
The “Carolina Reaper” is 300 times hotter than a jalapeño, and measures 2.4 million on the Scoville Heat Scale.
"I've never had a proper job interview. I usually just have an informal chat and then get offered the job."
Danny Wylde's post-adult film career is no less spicy.
"Ryan Gosling? I don't think he is attractive at all, flapping around in a suit like a dickhead. He looks like a waiter."
A group of professional music journalists are here to help you process the news.
In the VICELAND census we asked you which words or phrases you use to describe the person you're attracted to. Here's what those words tell us about you.
I went to the chili festival where people are passing out from eating off-the-charts hot peppers to meet Scoville scale addicted masochists and learn why they love spicy peppers so much.