Photo: Screenshot via BBC News
Welcome to Worst Hot Take of the Week – a column in which @MULLET_FAN_NEO crowns the wildest hot take of the week.
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Imagine that you’re in this scenario: you’re looking for a place to live. Somewhere you can exist quietly, without hassle or interference from the outside world. Let’s say your name is “Wales” – a typical given name.In your search, you come across an advert for a house share with three other people. The person who posted ad, let us call them “Mr. England”, says all fellow renters must share like-minded values of “inclusivity, tolerance and fairness”.All the bills are split fairly. The rooms are all equal size and quality, and all decisions about the house are made by committee. Mr. England sends you photos of your beautiful room, but stipulates it has since been renovated. You are more than pleased. Mr. England informs you demand for the rooms are high, so you think, “fuck it, I have a decent feeling about this” and agree to move in.On move-in day, however, you are directed to a room incontestably different to the one promised before. A box room that houses the boiler, a cat carrier and a JML mop. You think, “I’ve probably got the wrong end of this whole thing”, so you retrace your steps and notice your two other new housemates, Scotland and Northern Ireland, have been roomed in the crawl space under living room floor and up in the asbestos-ridden loft.You and your housemates go to remonstrate with Mr. England, who resides in a ginormous open space that takes up the majority of the house and features many oil paintings of “the hunt” on the walls. Now confessing to be your live-in landlord, Mr. England promptly presents you with the tenancy contracts you unknowingly legally agreed to by entering the house.
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The political synonym of being “British” continues to be laziest attempt ever to convince parts of the UK that anything they says matters. I mean, “this Union matters” guff would hold a lot more water if requests for self-autonomy and respect weren’t met with scoffing, sneering and hushes of “Look. I care about you. I really do, baby. But hearing you complain and ask for things is a real turn off for me. I’ve gotta go” before Westminster slinks off for a six week summer jolly.A poll last month showed half of Conservative voters support English independence, which is an impressively high percentage given there is very little debate in the public sphere about the cause. Which begs the question: why are the Westminster establishment so obsessed with keeping the Union intact?
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