I Hadn't Seen My Addict Father in Years—Then I Ran Into Him on the Street
I spotted my dad hanging out in a sketchy alley in my hometown. He didn't even recognize me when I introduced myself.
What I Learned at the 'Debate' Between Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Žižek
Žižek was less a cognizant thinker and more a pathological sacred cow tipper while Peterson was a bard for the reactionary elite and emo as hell.
Jeremy Piven's Stand-Up Made Me Quit My Comedy Job
The former ‘Entourage’ star has been accused of sexual misconduct by eight women, but my former employer had no problem giving him a stage to perform on.
I Thought I Had Herpes for Two Years
I really should have gotten a second opinion.
All the Bonkers, Evil Shit I Saw at a Wealth Expo Featuring Sylvester Stallone
I was sad because this cult of money shit works. Then Pitbull showed up.
The Haunted House That Features Scares Like Debt and Awkward Moments
Prepare to be horrified.
I Tried to Find the Worst Bar in Toronto and Learned Everything
I am a drunk Charles Dickens.
A Guide to Every Hangover Cure I've Ever Tried
Some of these might come in handy.
Confessions of a Balding Man
Underneath my bruised vanity lies the specter of death.
The Guilt of the Oldest Brother
I couldn’t protect my brothers from my dad, so what good was I?
What Your Favorite Christmas Song Says About You
There is no genre of music worse than Christmas music. Here's an objectively correct list of what your favorite shitty song says about your shitty self.
I Watched Eight Hours of Steven Seagal Movies to Understand America
What does the 90s' mumbling, fourth-rate action star say about the country and me?