Jordan Foisy

Essays

I Hadn't Seen My Addict Father in Years—Then I Ran Into Him on the Street

I spotted my dad hanging out in a sketchy alley in my hometown. He didn't even recognize me when I introduced myself.
Jordan Foisy
8.12.19
Culture

What I Learned at the 'Debate' Between Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Žižek

Žižek was less a cognizant thinker and more a pathological sacred cow tipper while Peterson was a bard for the reactionary elite and emo as hell.
Jordan Foisy
4.24.19
comedy

Jeremy Piven's Stand-Up Made Me Quit My Comedy Job

The former ‘Entourage’ star has been accused of sexual misconduct by eight women, but my former employer had no problem giving him a stage to perform on.
Jordan Foisy
6.28.18
Essays

I Thought I Had Herpes for Two Years

I really should have gotten a second opinion.
Jordan Foisy
5.14.18
Money

All the Bonkers, Evil Shit I Saw at a Wealth Expo Featuring Sylvester Stallone

I was sad because this cult of money shit works. Then Pitbull showed up.
Jordan Foisy
4.11.18
Culture

The Haunted House That Features Scares Like Debt and Awkward Moments

Prepare to be horrified.
Jordan Foisy
10.25.17
Stuff

I Tried to Find the Worst Bar in Toronto and Learned Everything

I am a drunk Charles Dickens.
Jordan Foisy
4.8.17
Hangovers

A Guide to Every Hangover Cure I've Ever Tried

Some of these might come in handy.
Jordan Foisy
3.17.17
masculinity

Confessions of a Balding Man

Underneath my bruised vanity lies the specter of death.
Jordan Foisy
2.22.17
column

The Guilt of the Oldest Brother

I couldn’t protect my brothers from my dad, so what good was I?
Jordan Foisy
2.1.17
guide

What Your Favorite Christmas Song Says About You

There is no genre of music worse than Christmas music. Here's an objectively correct list of what your favorite shitty song says about your shitty self.
Jordan Foisy
12.18.16
Stuff

I Watched Eight Hours of Steven Seagal Movies to Understand America

What does the 90s' mumbling, fourth-rate action star say about the country and me?
Jordan Foisy
10.25.16
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