john saward

4.7.18

The Old Man and the Screen

Al Pacino's career is more than a collection of films, it's a memoirish self-commentary.

8.23.16

Sean Hannity and the Art of Selling a Mirage

Hannity is an inoffensive looking Trojan horse filled with rancid opinions, making his way to the stage next to presidential candidates.

6.27.16

Knights in Shining Under Armour: Male Calamity on 'The Bachelorette'

If you've ever wondered where reality television falls on the authentic to producer-orchestrated scale, I'll offer Evan to you as an answer, a shriveled, timid man whose craft is resurrecting broken cocks.

4.13.16

The Gospel According to Al Green

On Green's seventieth birthday, John Saward takes a look back at the man who could turn an audience to rubble with the sound of his voice.

3.19.16

​​White Men Can’t Drunk: St. Patrick’s Day and Privilege

If you come to Manhattan on St. Patrick's Day, there are scenes to behold of local-nightly-news B-roll pageantry, but really the day is a calamity, a demolition derby of male ego and the limits of human biology.

2.3.16

The Kardashians Are My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

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12.14.15

Here Lies the Hipster

2015 was the year that the hipster (at least the hard-defined, Look At This Fucking variety) died.

11.6.15

John at the Bar

I worked at a bar for five years. It was one of those bars that are there to preserve a moment, a state of being, nothing ever changing; crypts with golden sarcophagi, men who can exist as royalty for all eternity.

9.1.15

Inside the Boardy Barn: Hampton Bays' Most Notorious Day Drinking Establishment

Going to the Boardy Bar in Hampton Bays is like venturing inside an ant farm made of bicep and stale pizza crust.

3.16.15

Never Forget: Rudy Giuliani and Hanging on Too Long

Giuliani is the human manifestation of the 9/11 Enya montage: a flaming disaster, hollow sentimentality, men saluting with a ribbon pinned to their lapel.

2.27.15

Fuck It, We'll Do It Live: Bill O'Reilly and Winging It

Bill O'Reilly is a pestilence to reason, an objection to the concept of critical analysis. He is the spirit child of the segment of America that won't stand for nuance or patience.

2.14.15

To Girl, From Boy, with Love

You think about how we are alone in infinity, ricocheting between stimuli and hope and orgasms.

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