The Best Gifts for Aries, Other Than a Harness

Fuel the full-throttle energy of the zodiac's battering ram with retro boxing shorts, CBD lotions, fidget toys, and a (literally) electrifying game.

Dry those Pisces season tears, and get ready to light a fire under your own rear: It’s Aries season (March 21 to April 19). Not familiar with the sign ruled by the headstrong ram? Well, it’s the first zodiac sign, and the unofficial reset for the rest of the astrological year (ask anyone with a hacky sack; they’ll agree) because it’s a cardinal sign, meaning it symbolizes leadership and the start of a new season. As a fire sign ruled by Mars, Aries is here to jettison you out of your winter SAD and into springtime hustler mode, no questions asked.  

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Shopping for Aries should feel like shopping for a meteorite: chaotic, energizing, and a little unhinged. Aries jumps first and inspects later, probably owns multiple (and multi-purpose) harnesses, and, along with Leo, is one of the best hype men of the zodiac. Sure, they can be a little hot-headed and need far more validation than they’d ever admit, but as with their fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, they’re a straight shooter who prefers to tell it like it is rather than play games. Famous Aries babies include Loretta Lynn, Jackie Chan, and Aretha Franklin, and other people who would absolutely demolish us in a bar fight; unofficial things that exude Aries energy include Four Loko, roller blades, and intense eye contact; selfie sticks (Aries resides in the House of Self, which is exactly what it sounds like), making out at the bar, and licking the Flaming Hot Cheeto dust off your (and your roommate’s) fingers. 

If the best gifts for Pisces were sentimental, then the best gifts for Aries are accessories to their full-throttle joy ride through life, and include everything from fidget toys to boxing shorts, chainmail bras to streetwear ‘fits and so much more. They might not be the sign with the most patience—but does that matter, when they’re already three steps ahead of everyone else? 

Keep them focused

Look, Aries is busy. And when they’re not able to focus all of their unbridled energy on their own projects or eyeliner, they’re going to need a little bit of help staying focused. Luckily, the best fidget toys have evolved quite a bit since the basic fidget spinner hay day; Now we’re fiddling with dragon wings and… beans? Beans. 

MAYBO SPORTS
Wiitin Dragon Wings Fidget Spinner

$9.99 at Amazon
Acerich
Pea Squeeze Toy (3 Pack)

$6.99 at Amazon

They’re into streetwear

Fortunately, Aries is also the name of a streetwear brand that was homegrown with soul by Sofia Prantera, and in a little over 10 years has turned out into one of the most tie-dyed, vibe-heavy labels at streetwear meccas such as Bodega and Grailed—plus it recently made a high-profile appearance on Zendaya in Euphoria. Everything about Prantera’s designs says, “HEY, OVER HERE” in the most perfect, fly-by Aries fashion, from beanies to T-shirts to sweatshirts that have a cowboy (??) snake.    

Aries
Killa Snake Sweatshirt

$200 at Parade World
Aries
Roman Head Tee

$130 at Bodega
Aries
Pagans Beanie

$50 at Parade World

The best jewelry for Aries

Maybe your Aries has a lot of Libra in their chart, too, and would prefer a gift that speaks to their taste in luxurious apparel and accessories. There’s so much great zodiac-inspired jewelry out there, but Awe Inspired sets itself apart from the pack—just like your Aries—by offering a wide selection of chain options to go with their pendants. 

Awe Inspired
14K Gold Aries Necklace

$165 at Awe Inspired

Aries season is boxing season

It’s almost Thigh Season, lads and lizards. Whether or not you’re a fan of 5 inch inseams on the street, we encourage you to flaunt those ham hocks from the comfort of your own home in a pair of retro boxing shorts; They’ll look great at the beach, on the couch, and give off major The Big Lebowski energy with a cozy house robe. You can also get 30% off all orders at Everlast right now with the code SPRINGFIT, so throw some gloves in there and a few boxing classes at Overthrow

LiiYii
Retro Muay Thai Boxing Shorts

$21.35 at Amazon
Everlast
MX Training Boxing Gloves

$179.99 at Everlast

They’re off the chain

You know what goes best with chainmail? The rockin’ bod of every Aries, dude. This would look great layered over a sheer turtleneck, underneath an oversized blazer, or front-row at Medieval Times in New Jersey.  

Advik
Chainmail Metal Top

$39.99 at Amazon

They could use some CBD body balm

Given that Aries is always on the go/doing parkour, they could probably use a little CBD TLC. Adam Rothbarth tried some of the best CBD body balms for VICE, and concluded that Lord Jones’ lotion is one of the best, because it comes in a full-spectrum 100-milliliter version made with 200 milligrams of CBD and the tiniest (legal) amount of THC. “Lord Jones may look like they make bougie junk for British yuppies,” he writes, “but a closer examination [of the brand] reveals a portfolio of really cool CBD products, from gumdrops and tinctures to chocolates and bath salts.” Scoop the lotion for your Aries, and the gumdrops for yourself. 

Lord Jones
Lord Jones CBD Body Lotion

$60.00$45 at Lord Jones

Have a ball

Aries! Can you just—shhhhut it. We know you’re usually right about everything, but can you please close that hot mouth of yours for two seconds?    

Bondage Boutique
Large Silicone Ball Gag

$26.99 at Lovehoney
H'NH
Silicone Ball Gag

$8.99 at Amazon

A NSFW board game on their level

Lightning Reaction Reloaded is the kind of game that was made for Aries, because it lightly electrocutes its players (seriously) and looks like something from Star Trek. I played it on my birthday with a fire sign friend who grew up grabbing electric fences in Nebraska, and they didn’t just love it—I believe, “Give me more” was the review.  

Lightning Reaction
Lightning Reaction Reloaded Shocking Game

$39.99 at Amazon

See you come Taurus season, when it’s time to bust-out the silk pajamas and truffle oil pizza.


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.

Tagged:

Evergreen, Streetwear, astrology, Gifts, Aries, zodiac

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