Photos via Zoopla
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? In Stockwell, and I just had to Google “Stockwell tube station” to visually confirm that I’d ever been there (I had: I mistakenly got on the wrong train, yes pissed, and it terminated at Stockwell, and I came up the escalators blinking into the dusky summer air, and thought ‘fuck’, and said “fuck”, and then did that thing where you Citymapper your way home but the route is so complicated – sorry, two buses, then a tube, then another bus? I think I’d rather die – that you just end up getting an Uber instead, which I did, and it burned me for like £30, so I’ve been harbouring some anti-Stockwell sentiment for a while, all related), and anyway the tube station has exactly one Google review, a rating of one-star. Here’s the review in full: “Victoria and Northern lines in the Stockwell”. Seems harsh.
What is there to do locally? Tentative research suggests Stockwell has three things going for it exactly – the city’s biggest Portuguese community, a skatepark and a Grade II-listed bus garage. So your options are eat a pastel de nata, fall asleep at a bus terminal, or get fingered by someone who “just always has an eye infection”.
Alright, how much are they asking? £932 pcm. Why the £2, do you think? Why not just £930? Which is a weird enough price point as it is. Why that? Why that number?
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