Have you ever found yourself so singularly focused on the intrinsic beauty of an individual pizza topping, it somehow led to you being socially ostracized?
Sure, we've all met that one person who is continually made fun of by friends for their unabashed and overbearing love of pizza loaded with sardines or pineapple, but what about a person who is so devoted to a single topping, they were actually banned from a pizzeria because of it?
That seems to be the case with with a 31-year-old Scottish woman, Anneliese Shabbir, who alleges that her obsession with jalapeños caused her to be banned by a local Domino's.
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The Linlithgow, Scotland outlet of the pizza chain allegedly told Shabbir that they will no longer be serving her because, in their words, "we cannot meet your expectations." When a pizza outlet refuses to cater to a good customer—she says she ordered up to four times a week—that's a pretty big diss.
Why in the world wouldn't Domino's be happy to throw some jalapeños on a pie and run to the bank with Shabbir's cold, hard pounds?
The problem comes down to quantity: How many jalapeños are worthy of the £1.40 (about $1.60) that Domino's charges for "extra" jalapeños? Shabbir said the "pathetic" seven jalapeños she was recently served was insufficient, and so, she took matters into her own hands.
"I've complained about it before," Shabbir said, "yet I still get the same pizza. I called in to yet again complain and I was told by the management team that if they continue to disappoint me, then they would encourage me to go elsewhere." In short, she was excommunicated from the temple of chain pizza that is Domino's.
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Shabbir posted a copy of the Dear John email she received from Domino's on her Facebook page; her comment says that for a £21 pizza (that's around $24), seven measly jalapeños just wouldn't do.
@DPLinlithgow @Dominos_UK banning customers to resolve a complaint against your store! Can't even find the words pic.twitter.com/sVV88llhXU
— Anneliese Shabbir (@MaryPoppinsRox) July 21, 2016
Metro reports that a Domino's sees the situation a little differently. A Domino's spokesperson told them, "Ms Shabbir has been a frequent complainant at the store in question. Despite every effort by our store team to satisfy Ms Shabbir, it seemed we were unable to meet her expectations, and so it was suggested that it may be best for both parties if we do not accept any future orders from her. We fully support the store's decision in this case. These decisions are not taken lightly. However, in some limited circumstances, unfortunately, it is our only course of action."
MUNCHIES reached out to Domino's Pizza UK, who provided us with an identical statement as the one copied above.
Is Shabbir a rightfully disgruntled customer or simply blinded in her unending odyssey for jalapeño dominance? The answer may depend on how you answer this pressing question: Is seven jalapeños sufficiently "extra," or not?