Volume 13 Issue 3
Illegalize It!
Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It’s disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone’s skull.
Whose Farts Smell Worse?
We hired a male model from the internet and got two girls who work in porn to fart on his face twice. They did this once while wearing jeans and once while wearing skimpy porno underwear.
Fat Camp Mem'ries
When I was 14 I went to fat camp. It was completely voluntary. The only problem was that I wanted to go to Camp Shane, a famous fat camp in the Catskills that has a great reputation.
Soup Kitchen Reviews
To me, the homeless scene is an easy way out for some people. To be honest, a lot of people that you see around us right now, if you came back in five years, they’d still be here. If you get free food you squander what little money you’ve got on...
Games
I’ve just spent the past three days kneeling on my bed, staring at the screen, and frantically banging my head as I “shredded” my way through such venerable hits as “Higher Ground” (Chili Peps version, natch), “Iron Man,” “I Wanna Be Sedated,” and...
Instant Razor Blade Mash
Daniel Treacy has been missing in action for a while. Back in the 70s and 80s, his group The Television Personalities wrote classic, funny songs like “Part Time Punks” and “I Know Where Syd Barrett Lives.”
Grimewatch
When we’re not scouring message boards for mentions of Vice or posting MP3s on the RWD forum, we here at Grimewatch keep busy surfing Rupert Murdoch’s proverbial slut-fest, MySpace.
Meat Whiplash
My friend’s dad is a refugee from Uruguay, but since things got better there after the military dictatorship ended, it’s become totally OK to visit and hang out there again. The sweetest thing he remembers from back then are the meat parties that they...
Coffee And Doughnuts
Grabbing lunch every day on a cop’s salary (STARTS at $34,970) is not easy, especially in New York City. Remember all those transit workers who went on strike? Half of them make more than us. And no, we don’t eat for free.