Row Z

Why Fulham FC Are the Essence of Schadenfreude

Their Premier League relegation reminds us all that watching the rich fail terribly is one of England's favourite pastimes.
Hydall Codeen
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English Football's 'Coked-Up Lad Army' Are Fitting Emblems of Our Coked-Up Tribal Nation

No one will admit it, but the Premier League and cocaine go brilliantly with each other.
Hydall Codeen

The Haunting of Skillzy

The unblinking 2020 tournament mascot is happiness's foe
Joel Golby
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England's Football Team Should Just Start Signing More Players from Ireland, Scotland and Wales

Declan Rice is set to make his international debut for England, ten days after being named Ireland's Young Player of the Year. Who's to say Southgate can't pinch more players from other nations?
Hydall Codeen
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Theo Walcott and the English Football Fan’s Perception of Time

Now that he’s 30, it's finally time to say RIP to the former wonderboy's untapped potential, to allow it to find its own quiet peace.
Hydall Codeen
Row Z

The Real Madrid Era Is Over

Last night, European football's bloated kings were scythed down by a younger, hungrier side.
Hydall Codeen
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In Football, the Aftermath of Triumph and Failure Is Much the Same

Within every silver lining, there is a cloud.
Hydall Codeen

Inside Football Hooliganism's Hidden Crack and Heroin Problem

Some old-school hoolies have quit fighting on the terraces to battle their hardcore addictions.
Nick Chester
Row Z

The Premier League Is Just a Never-Ending Circus of Crisis

How did we reach a stage where each club and every fanbase carries its own ticking Doomsday Clock?
Hydall Codeen
Row Z

The Shocking Rebirth of Dušan Tadić

The Ajax number ten's talismanic performance against Real Madrid was a world away from his time at Southampton.
Hydall Codeen

Brand Twitter Is Absurd, and It Will Only Get Worse

SunnyD tweets about depression. Steak-umm is lonely. Wendy's is sassy. Do we actually want our brands to be that "human"?
Alex Norcia
Celebrity Brexit Intervention of the Week

Numb-Nuts Celebrity Brexit Intervention of the Week: Jurgen Klopp Is Sick as a Parrot

The Brexit conversation has become so cliched it sounds like a post-match interview.
Gavin Haynes