Floridians Sue McDonald's Because They Had to Pick the Cheese Off Their Quarter Pounders

The duo claims they hath 'suffered injury' from being forced to eat all these cheese-draped Quarter Pounders.
Jelisa Castrodale

Kristaps Porzingis and the End of Hope

For the Knicks, hope has been as rare as a 7′ 3″ unicorn who's just as comfortable on the perimeter as he is inside. After Porzingis tore his ACL last night, New York has lost both for the foreseeable future.
Robert Silverman

The Stock Market Tanked Because Capitalism Is Totally Broken

Wages were trending up, so naturally investors panicked.
Matt Taylor

Washington, D.C. is Having a 'Groundhog Day' Moment

Two years ago the Caps lost a Game 7, the Wizards went down 3-2 on the road, and the Nats staged a ninth inning comeback.
Sean Newell
herzog thoughts

That Time Werner Herzog Went to the Jungle and Was Overwhelmed By Misery

"The birds are in misery. I don’t think they sing, they just screech in pain."
Sarah Emerson
Noisey News

An Investigation Into Who is More Miserable: Blink-182 or Creeper

Blink-182 released a song called "Misery" and Creeper have a new music video for a track with the same title, but who wins today's misery-off?
Lauren O'Neill

A Letter Signed by 600 Detainees on Manus Island Pleads for Their Assisted Suicide

I asked its author what the hell is going on over there.
Chris Shearer
Expert Witness with Robert Christgau

Canada, Croatia, and the Misery of Sufjan Stevens: Expert Witness with Robert Christgau

This week, the Dean of American Rock Critics looks at John Kruth, Old Man Luedecke, and 'Carrie & Lowell,' that extremely depressing record from Sufjan Stevens.
Robert Christgau
The VICE Guide to Right Now

Science Says Having a Kid Is One of the Crappiest Things That Can Happen to You

By some measures, new parents are more miserable than people grieving their spouses.
Mike Pearl
Sex Ed Week

This Scientific Paper on How to Win at Online Dating Is Bleak

Let science be your wingman.
Victoria Turk
The Future According to VICE

​The Future of Terrorism According to VICE

The critical front line in the next counterterror battle will almost certainly be cyberspace, and multinational corporations are likely to be among the chief victims.
Josh Meyer

We Must Risk Delight After a Summer Full of Monsters

Life contains everything: tear gas in Ferguson, books read on the grass, journalist James Foley's murder, dancing in New Orleans till sunrise blots the stars. We're meat—fragile and finite. But joy is survival.
Molly Crabapple