David Cross

  • Mafia Party

    How to kill your friends.

    David Cross

  • The Hate List

    A list of things I hate.

    David Cross

  • My America

    Someone is always worse off. Even if you're shitting in a bucket surrounded by crazy veterans.

    David Cross

  • My America

    How can you allow yourself to be bored when you’ve got rare, delicious foods being brought to your lips by effeminate Frenchmen?

    David Cross

  • My America

    Valentine’s Day is a much too vivid and unwelcome reminder of what losers we are.

    David Cross

  • My America

    Happiness is knowing you are never more than twenty miles away from a Hooters.

    David Cross

  • My America

    He still loves fashion.

    David Cross

  • The Launch Of VICE Australia

    You are descended from the most base and perverse of the criminal element in England.

    David Cross

  • We Don't Need Another Hero

    Hero means nothing.

    David Cross

  • My America

    Every once in a while you see or experience something that jolts you from your narcoleptic existence of useless pleasures and missed opportunities. And you are simultaneously reminded of: A) what can be, and B) just how lame we are as a people, as a...

    David Cross
  • News

    Who Cares?

    There's a difficulty in writing about retarded people that stems from the word itself.

    David Cross

  • My America

    What goes better with American flags than a big ol’ helping of the phrase, “God Bless America”?

    David Cross