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San Francisco, CA It isn’t so much your knee-jerk, boring, toeing-the-line opinions that mark you as a typical San Franciscan though. It’s the fact that you think you’re smarter than you really are. Stick to anarchist poetry readings and crusty-punk drum circles please. Leave the thinking part to the straight white men. (OK, OK, kidding there. But seriously, fuck off.) DER TABLOID Vice

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Taff Vice

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Berlin, Germany We like Amanda Lepore because we like weirdoes. And PS: You were watching the show in the first place, so stop bitching. LAST TO KNOW Vice

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Vice Vice Lower East Side, NY PS: Now that the is out, I know what you cunts look like. It was cool seeing you down at Motor City. Also do you have any spaces on the soccer team? I got skills. We have a soccer team? SF SORROW Vice San Francisco, CA Sorry, buddy, can’t really relate. You don’t like the thought of “some girl cramming” a massive vibrator into her crotch? You’re right, you have been in “Frisco” for too long. HAIR PIE Vice

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Brooklyn, NY We’ll definitely pass your gratitude on to Amy and Lesley if we can machete our way through the jungle of pubes that surrounds them.

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Letters are edited for length.