NFL

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  • Your Super Bowl Questions, Answered

    Something called the “Super Bowl” is happening this weekend. What a crazy name, right? Sounds like what Super Man smokes when he wants to get stoned! Nah, just joshin’ with you—the Super Bowl is a football game! But what's football?

  • Super Bowl Media Day… On Acid!

    As you may or may not know, tripping balls while in the middle of a gaggle of reporters shouting questions two inches away from your ears is the ninth circle of hell. On the other hand, I did get to talk to Artie Lange.

  • Clean Zones and Cabbies: How the Super Bowl Screws New Orleans Part 2

    A recent lawsuit has resulted in free speech being restored in the giant "Clean Zone" around the Superdome, but the Super Bowl is still causing hardship for many, including food truck owners and cabbies.

  • How the Super Bowl Screws New Orleans

    For the pleasure of the assholes who will flood New Orleans for the Super Bowl, the city’s working overtime and even dissing Mardi Gras, its oldest tradition and most reliable financial benefactor. Per usual, what the New Orleans government won’t do...

  • I Want to Remember Ray Lewis As a Crazy Person

    Ray Lewis, the longtime defensive stalwart/crazy person of the Baltimore Ravens, might be playing in his final game on Sunday. Professional football commentators tend to spew a lot of irrelevant filler about “heart” and “soul,” but for Lewis, all of...

  • Robert Griffin III, Teenaged Runaway

    Robert Griffin III is a suburban teenage girl wandering around the city at dusk with no bra. He is too naïve to be scared. He believes in himself too much. This can’t end well, The gap in knowledge is too great. The lessons won’t stick if they come any...