assholes
How a Power-Mad Illinois Mayor Launched a Police Crusade Against a Parody Twitter Account
Peoria city officials apparently don't understand the First Amendment.
Magnus Carlsen, World Chess Champion, Is Kind of a Dick
We interviewed Magnus Carlsen, the 23-year-old chess champion who has achieved rock star status in Europe. He wasn't happy to hear from us.
'Microaggression' Is a Stupid Word You Should Take Seriously
Microaggresions are the tiny, thoughtless, offensive things that people say to minorities and women on a daily basis. Generally, you should try to avoid saying things that make others feel shitty—but for some people, that's a controversial statement.
The Satanic Temple Weighs In on the Impending Death of the Leader of the Westboro Baptist Church
In celebration of the icy hand of death caressing Fred's gross old body, we reached out to Lucien Greaves, the founder of the Satanic Temple, who last summer performed a "Pink Mass" over the grave of Fred's mother in order to turn her into a lesbian in...
Things in Music That People Need to Stop Complaining About
Here is everything in music that people need to get over.
An LA Man Dragged a Puppy Until It Bled Because It "Refused to Walk"
The puppy was dragged on January 3. Then the story got passed around by angry internet people until the LAPD's Animal Cruelty Task Force (ACTF) got wind of it, zeroed in on the accused perpetrator, and made an arrest.
Juggalos Are OK, Cupid
OkCupid Juggalos is a Tumblr devoted to pointing and laughing at people who get panic attacks, work at McDonald's, run possum adoption agencies, and happen to be Insane Clown Posse fans. Why are people cool with it?
Can Ashley Judd Save America?
Mitch McConnell, the Senate Majority Leader and one of the most loathsome politicians in the US, is up for reelection next year, and his most serious challenger is, apparently, Ashley Judd. Can she save the country from his obstructionism? Spoiler...
A Bunch of Douchebags Started a Riot in the Line for Beyoncé Tickets in England
Unlimited finger wags to whoever dare disrupt anything Beyoncé-related.
The 12-Step Program for Lance Armstrong's Image
After 15 years of denial, obfuscation, and single-handedly creating the worst fashion trend of the 21st century, Lance Armstrong is finally ready to admit to the world—or Oprah, same difference—that he indulged in performance-enhancing drugs during his...
Record Hustlers are Pompous Assholes
This knowledge has been with me for some time, but recent observations have heightened my prejudice for this slime-drenched sect of humanity.
I Was David Petraeus's Bitch in the 90s and I Hated Every Second of It
Back in 1996, I was a starry-eyed West Point lieutenant in the storied 82nd Airborne Division. I had just graduated from Ranger School and the 2nd Battalion of the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment was my new home—my first assignment. I loved the Army...