Rants
The New Solipsism: What the Fuck Happened to Indie Rock?
Rock music used to have the decency to be about doing too much coke or banging groupies while complimenting itself on its own sensitivity; now it’s about maintaining your lawn.
All Chefs Hate All Food Writers
Chefs are right to hate food writers. Writers, especially critics, are entitled yet uninformed, and get perks that normal diners can only dream of—all at the chef's expense. Here are nine reasons writers like me inspire such loathing from the...
Being a Background DJ Blows
Even when you're opening for David Hasselhoff at a hockey stadium in St. Petersburg.
When Remotely Driving A Robot Through an Art Museum at Night Seems Like a Bummer
A rant because I forgot to vote for the IK Prize.
My Brooklyn Neighbors Hate Me
Crown Heights is a close-knit community, one that I have now forever exiled myself from. I am afraid to go buy a bagel or some fried clams. I put my foot in it this time, but I wish my neighbors would at least give me credit for continuing to hate...
Who Will Stop the Homosexual Dance Teacher of East London?!
Homophobes say the funniest things, don't you agree? Dr Mark Walcott is the head of dance and drama at Newham College in East London. He thinks a gay teacher should be fired.
Kanye West Dropped Another Rant and It Changed My Life
Kanye West's hold on reality slips and slips, and we love it more and more.
15 Choice Quotes from Kanye West's Ridiculous Sing-Rant Over the Weekend
Includes such life gems as, "How much shampoo can you sell with your face on it and shit?" and, "Remind me again why the Grammys can suck my dick."
Valentine's Day Is a Punch to the Gunt
Girls love a lot of nonsense, like drinking out of wine glasses. What the fuck’s that for? You can just drink cheap wine out of the bottle and it tastes lovely as virginal blood. Girls also fall for sucker shit like soap operas and shopping networks...
Drake: Top of the (Middle) Class
Is it really possible to translate a populist narrative of the downtrodden, an elemental story about the basic needs of life like food and clothing, into a mildly wistful story about bourgie Canadian suburbanites who have yet to accomplish their personal