Let's Invent a New Genre of Christmas Music
There are only a few good Christmas songs, and it's impossible to add to the canon. So we propose something new, something that can include Gucci Mane, The Germs, and Gillian Welch. We suggest Neo-Christmas music.
What Your Favorite Christmas Song Says About You
There is no genre of music worse than Christmas music. Here's an objectively correct list of what your favorite shitty song says about your shitty self.
Dolly Parton's "Hard Candy Christmas" Is the Real-as-Hell Christmas Song We All Need Sometimes
We delude ourselves when we begin to think that a holiday might have all the answers, but "Hard Candy Christmas" is ideal beause it celebrates the hope that comes with merely asking the questions.