"I remember this guy came into the studio with no tattoos and wanted a sperm coming out of each corner of his mouth."
Clichéd tattoos are "kind of like a safety blanket to give your life meaning," says Dr. Kirby Farrell.
I'm not talking ironic hipster tattoos of bacon or Rambo; I'm talking praying hands pressed together holding a machete or an Uzi in preparation for a holy war.
When I found out that girls named Britney would get VIP access to Britney Spears Day in Las Vegas, I knew I had to get there, no matter what it took. The only problem was that my name isn't Britney.