Volume 13 Issue 3
Literary/I Want My DVDs
Some of the worst books ever written are those by “former” gangsters or football hooligans about their shitty, pointless lives.
National Front Soup Kitchen
Roger Bonnivard runs a bird shop in a popular paris neighborhood. Roger loves his pets, and he also loves people. He was a militant for the MNR (National Front dissident party) when he founded the SDF association.
Ass Worship 8
See that brunette in the upper left named Lanny Barbie? She bares a striking resemblance to a friend of mine named Sarah from Maui. I think it might be the eyes. My wife will probably disagree with me. She always does when it comes to me pointing out...
Strange Froots
Brian Pyle and Merrick McKilay's creeping wheezes and flushes of dense, blissed-out drone and scrape have been crafted over the past seven years in bedrooms and bunkers around Humboldt, California. Their work has resulted in a slew of never-released...
Games
I’ve just spent the past three days kneeling on my bed, staring at the screen, and frantically banging my head as I “shredded” my way through such venerable hits as “Higher Ground” (Chili Peps version, natch), “Iron Man,” “I Wanna Be Sedated,” and...
Slimming Down
Anorexia's not as hard as you think, you just have to get on the train. I know because I didn't eat for ten days and I feel great. Not only that, but I lost the weight.
Illegalize It!
Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It’s disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone’s skull.
Eat Dirt
What was your New Year's resolution this year-to cut down on chocolate? Big deal! Some poor souls had to resolve to stop eating stuff like dirt, glue, and paint.
Gross Jar
A little over a year ago, we ran an article in which we pitted a friend of ours against some cockroaches (it ended with several of their heads in his mouth-remember?).