brian moylan

  • Don't Celebrate the Gay Marriage Victory with a Wedding of Your Own

    To all my homosexual brothers and sisters: I am cheering with you today. But just because we can get married, doesn't mean that we should. Gay culture is new to legal recognition, so, like our first time getting drunk at a high school...

  • How to Hone Your Gaydar to Perfection

    These days with more and more social circles becoming sexually diverse, how can you tell if the guy swinging a glow stick next to you at some Bushwick "rave" is looking to put his pole in a hole or looking for another pole to pole all over his face?

  • The Red Marriage Equality Sign on Your Facebook Profile Is Completely Useless

    It's a big week in the fight for “marriage equality,” which is what most gay activists want us to call gay marriage. Right now gay activism needs all the help it can get. Know what’s not helping? Changing your Facebook profile picture to a silly red...

  • Guys, It's Time to Stop Shaving Your Junk

    There is nothing more disappointing than taking a new guy home for the first time and ripping his clothes off, only to find that he has "manscaped" himself to look like some sort of dude-shaped topiary.

  • Are You a Slut?

    If you're taking this quiz, then you probably already know the answer. Still, why not give your suspicions some validity?

  • How to Suck an Uncut Cock

    There comes a moment in every American cocksucker’s (and I use that term as an honorific) life when he/she pulls down a pair of trousers and is met not with a well-shorn sailor, but a hooded monk. Yes, I'm talking about the rare occasion (in America...

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  • How to Get Laid at the Gym

    Most guys approach the gym like Clint Eastwood walking into a shootout: they want to be alone, they want to be very serious, and they'll kill anyone who comes near them. That is the exact opposite of the attitude you need if you want to score some gym...

  • An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars

    We love having straight people hang out with us, we really do, but I'm going to break down the rules for the breeders who forget how to behave when there is a rainbow flag on the wall. For our purposes we'll be talking about gay male bars, since...

  • Hey Straight People, You're Using Sex Drugs Wrong

    The continued acceptance of homosexual men and lesbians by mainstream America means that some of the wonderful things that were kept in the darker nooks and crannies of the gay world are now seeing the light of day and, like most awesome things that...

  • What Your Underwear Says About You

    Congratulations, you have convinced some poor fool to come back to your house from a bar/party/awkward OKCupid date and tricked them into thinking it's a good idea to have sex with you. While we all know dick size is really the only thing that matters...

  • How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life

    There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me. I never should have given up porn.

  • Why I Think Fashion Week Is Stupid

    It's like a bunch of carnival barkers luring you into a freak show, but the Siamese twins aren't Siamese at all, it's just two bitches shoved in the same dress.