prisons

  • Piss Testing Is a Failure

    It seems to me like they always pick on the people who are already down when it comes to intrusive nonsense like mandatory drug testing, so the criminals got it first, but it’s becoming more apparent to me that this is a big hustle, and it's not just...

  • The Guys Who Really Should Be Locked Up

    You might think that someone who’s been locked up a lot like me might have more sympathy for inmates, regardless of what their crime is, but I doubt that I do. When I hear a guy sitting next to me in group say he just did 31 years, I really don’t want...

  • Public Schoolteachers' Pensions Are Partially Funded by Private Prisons

    Retirement funds for public school teachers (as well as other government employees) in several states have a combined $90 million invested in Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) and GEO Group, one of the largest private-prison companies in the...

  • Who’s Getting Rich off the Prison-Industrial Complex?

    Many of America's prisons are run by for-profit corporations, so clearly some people are making lots and lots of money off the booming business of keeping human beings in cages. But who are these people? Using some publicly available data, I came up...

  • Here's Why Our Magazine Is Not Safe for Prison

    A copy of our Cultural Atrocities issue (released in March) got sent to a guy currently serving time in the Putnam Correctional Institution in East Palatka, Florida. The other day, we got it back, with a nice note from the folks in charge of that...

  • Prisons I've Known and Yelped

    I was kicked off Yelp probably about 15 times. I’m the ORIGINAL prison reviewer, along with some guy named Craig who did a nice review of Rikers four years ago and who probably got kicked off too. I lost my classic reviews, so I decided to make some...

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  • Inmates Love Lawsuits

    A prisoner named Kim Millbrook won a Supreme Court case with a handwritten petition, which is impressive. Thanks to him, inmates have the right to sue scumbag pork chops in federal jails, but the truth is that an assload of taxpayer money gets wasted...

  • Australian Prisoners Are Giving Themselves DIY Penis Implants

    Turns out that a sizable chunk of the inmate population in New South Wales, Australia, is getting inventive with their wangcentric entertainment and performing DIY penis-implant procedures on themselves with rusty razor blades and bits of scrap metal.

  • Down in the Hole

    The cops definitely use the box as a tool, and it’s been seriously overused. In New York, the box is officially called a Special Housing Unit (SHU), and it is a serious tool to keep the inmates in check. I did very limited box time, and it scared the...

  • Prisons Punish Families Too

    Imagine your dad was locked up for most of your life. You’d grow up poor, probably full of anger, likely in a louse-filled neighborhood with unseemly influences, and you’d have a greater chance of becoming a whore or a thief or a drug dealer and...

  • The Mysterious and Depressing Case of Prisoner X

    On Tuesday morning, the Australian news network ABC broadcast a story revealing the identity of the mysterious “Prisoner X” who died in solitary confinement in an Israeli prison in 2010. In fact, “Prisoner X” was the subject of a case so secret that...

  • Thirstbuckets

    Normally, I like to coin my own crackerisms and slang when it comes to describing indescribable prison behaviors, but I can’t improve on “thirstbucket.” In case you don’t know, that’s ghetto terminology for inmates who have crackhead tendencies...