sad stories
I Spent the Evening at Chuck E. Cheese's, the Most Magical Place on Earth
You’re young. You’re shitty. So why aren’t you at Chuck E. Cheese’s? It is, after all, where “a kid can be a kid,” and the last time I checked, your maturity level would place you thoroughly within that demographic. Did I mention it serves beer? It...
On the Death of a Dog I Should Have Loved Better
I am surprised to find myself depressed upon the death of my dog this past Sunday during our fishing trip on Lake Pontchartain. I am surprised I’m even calling Meshcha “my dog,” as I was never very fond of her, and didn't want her in the first place...
Dying of a Dirty Mouth
Don’t think appearance matters? I once saw an old man get killed in prison for having bad breath. He was Puerto Rican, but we called him Miagi 'cause he had a very Asian look and resembled Pat Morita. Unfortunately, his mouth was completely decayed and...
Thirstbuckets
Normally, I like to coin my own crackerisms and slang when it comes to describing indescribable prison behaviors, but I can’t improve on “thirstbucket.” In case you don’t know, that’s ghetto terminology for inmates who have crackhead tendencies...
Sad Stories of the Death of Kings
It’s no wonder that David Lynch made two of his best films when he adapted Barry Gifford's Wild at Heart and then asked him to cowrite the script for Lost Highway.