The Russia Issue

  • Tidbits

    A hundred years ago all Russians wore these primitive-looking straw slippers made by peasants in Belarus. They look like Steve Martin’s “Cruel Shoes,” but holy shit are they comfortable. They feel like you’re putting your feet into vaginas.

  • Fuck Katrina

    Hurricane Katrina was a total disaster and everything but for some of the people of New Orleans' projects, who are used to dodging bullets while slanging yay and shocking out to jittery 808 beats and O.T.T. synth-driven hip-hop, Katrina was nothing.

  • Bribing With Blue Jeans

    Just how valuable ARE a pair of old black Levi's 550s and a fresh roll of Kleenex-brand two-ply toilet paper to today's deprived Muscovites? I recently hit the fanciest nightclubs in town to see how far I could get on the real cultural currency of...

  • Grimewatch

    With Roll Deep being kicked off Rinse FM, Essentials splitting up and my quest to become grime’s own JT LeRoy moving as swiftly as Sharky Major’s career, I was ready to file this month under “WASTE.”

  • Russian Bra Busters

    I never really grasped what they meant when doctors said people who lose a limb often feel a pain where their arm or leg once was. It didn’t make any sense to me.

  • Records

    You know me and joke rap. I don’t usually fuck with it. That said, if you’ve got enough perseverance to milk a joke for the length of an entire album, I’ll give you daps.

  • Out There

    Everybody likes to jaw on and on about indie rock and indie labels and indie magazines and indie rap (that's the worst indie), but what about indie distros?

  • Dooms Day Metal

    Does it make any sense to even try to explain what has gone wrong with Death Metal? I see you scratching your bleached hair going "Huh!? Metal still rawks man!"

  • Wussian Wabbits

    Nathalia Edenmont is a 30-year-old Russian artist who has been bashed by literally everyone for the crime of making of art with dead bunnies. She gets hate mail from militant vegans, Nazis, and even regular people who say things like: "That's not art...

  • Vice Fashion - Homesick

    In 2004 Chechens took siege of a Beslan school and killed and injured up to 1000 people. There are about 1 million street kids in Moscow, infant death in Armenia is 36 to every 1000 and procreating close to Chernobyl is risky for the next 3 million...

  • Russian Cocktails

    “In America, you drink vodka. But in Soviet Russia…vodka drinks you.” —Yakov Smirnoff, comic genius

  • Vice Mail

    I should start this off by mentioning that I generally consider writing to publications, companies, or other abstract entities the exclusive province of dumbshits and an all-around waste of time.