Joshua David Stein
New York Bagels Do Not Suck
David Heti has claimed that New York's bagels are inferior to Montreal's. My opponent’s arguments are laughable, and he should be doubly lambasted for defending a poor product poorly. Montreal is too close-minded to contain our larger bagels.
Before the Slaughter: How I Met My Meat
The average American eats about a man’s worth in cow a year. But no matter how “locally sourced” or “grass-fed” that beef is, few of us ever come eye-to-eye with the cattle it came from, so I went to a farm in upstate New York to do just that.
Juicy, Wet Nachos Are the Only Kind I’ll Put in My Mouth
On a recent afternoon, I drank pissy beer and listened to a plate of nachos. I brought one chip to my lip, rimming her edges with my tongue. Using my teeth as a lever, I pulled down. I could feel her body stiffen, then bend and grow taut. And then I...
Foie Gras Is the Devil's Work
Foie gras is the result of gavage, a technique of forcing a tube down the throat of a helpless goose, and pumping the bird so full of food that their liver expands to about ten times the size.
Those Buffalo Wings from Last Year’s Super Bowl Gave Me an STD
Dear reader, I ate her. She hung out in that unreal zone between crispy skin and moist meat. The burning continued and I didn’t want it stop. I yearned for burn, blew my wad, waded with an orange warrior grimace, into the burn.
Those Buffalo Wings from Last Year’s Super Bowl Gave Me an STD
Dear reader, I ate her. She hung out in that unreal zone between crispy skin and moist meat. The burning continued and I didn’t want it stop. I yearned for burn, blew my wad, waded with an orange warrior grimace, into the burn.
An Erotic Encounter with an Egg Sandwich
It’s a filthy thing, a deli breakfast sandwich. But I defy you to admit that you are not tempted by the flesh-colored roll peeking from the loosely closed foil, or the virginal white paper sheath, the stench of desire emanating from the sandwich.
An Erotic Encounter with an Egg Sandwich
It’s a filthy thing, a deli breakfast sandwich. But I defy you to admit that you are not tempted by the flesh-colored roll peeking from the loosely closed foil, or the virginal white paper sheath, the stench of desire emanating from the sandwich.
Steakhouses Are a Lot Like Hip-Hop
For many business people, steakhouses act as culinary armaments of power. Within the genre of hip-hop, an artist's talent lies within their signature style. And like hip-hop, steakhouses are the restaurant genre where the ingredients yearn to...
Steakhouses Are a Lot Like Hip-Hop
For many business people, steakhouses act as culinary armaments of power. Within the genre of hip-hop, an artist's talent lies within their signature style. And like hip-hop, steakhouses are the restaurant genre where the ingredients yearn to freestyle.
My Doritos Locos Taco Gave Me a Boner
Months before it came inside my mouth, the flavor powder of my Doritos Locos taco lay in a 50 pound bag of chemical funk inside a Frito Lay factory in Killingly, CT.
My Doritos Locos Taco Gave Me a Boner
Months before it came inside my mouth, the flavor powder of my Doritos Locos taco lay in a 50 pound bag of chemical funk inside a Frito Lay factory in Killingly, CT.