Let us examine the base and wanton longing for a supreme Tory overlord to piss through your own mother’s letterbox.
Ah yes, palling around with a billionaire paedophile – an everyday blunder any of us might make!
A Tory toofer of unforgivable callousness this week, also featuring the Etonian Slenderman's cheerleader Andrew Bridgen.
In Tory Britain there is simply nothing to be done about people living in flats with no locks and hoards of cockroaches biting their children, sadly!
Mark Zuckerberg resorts to primary school ethics as he was grilled about Facebook's stance on fact-checking political advertisements.
Get in, bitches, we're siphoning off Theresa May's politics into an out-of-sight septic tank to make flimsy point about misogyny!
So brave and open-minded of celebrities to put aside their slight differences and have a pint with the war criminal.
Happy #MeToo anniversary everyone!
A 'Telegraph' columnist has criticised Labour's plans to tackle inequality by integrating private schools into the state sector because "educational performance has a high genetic component".
Boris Johnson was caught in a lie. The sensible response? Call out the man who exposed the lie as the opposition, then direct all of your Twitter followers at him.
The worst take of the week: James Martin, celebrity chef, protesting a fire service mascot change by pivoting to 'otter'.