so sad today

  • ​Cause of Death: the News

    As an addict 2.0, I am always looking to change the way I feel, sometimes by gorging on tragic news stories.

  • ​Stop Pressuring Me to Take Care of Myself

    My knee-jerk reaction to the "self-care" movement is to punch it in the face, but maybe that's just because I haven't given it a fair try. I decided to research a variety of self-care tips online, and see if any of them could change my life.

  • Meditation in the Time of Low Self-Esteem

    I don't practice meditation to become more enlightened. I do it to massage certain qualities within myself that make it difficult for me to live on Earth.

  • ​I Found My Inner Child and She’s a Disaster

    I dislike my inner child so much, in fact, that I can't even deal with the words "inner child."

  • ​Studies Show I'm Worse Than I Thought

    I thought I was only moderately depressed. Then I took four different online depression tests, and they all said I have "severe depression".

  • It Gets Better and Then It Gets Worse

    What will I do with this column and my Twitter account if the sadness doesn't end? Do I keep writing about the experience of living with depression and anxiety, and exploring the nuances of sadness forever?

  • Fuck Music, Let’s Talk About Feelings: FYF Fest

    So Sad Today went to this year's festival to talk to musicians whose work is "sad," "dark," "nostalgic," or "melancholic" about what happiness is, what it means to them, and how to get it.

  • I Grew as a Person and It Sucks

    It was not for moral reasons that I finally quit engaging in casual sex, sexting, and the cultivation of crushes and romantic obsessions. But, for me, the pain of disappointment and chemical withdrawal eventually became so fierce that I had to quit the...

  • ​Only Everyone Can Judge Me

    I take solace in the realization that the river of haterade is going to flow no matter what.

  • Eating Gives Me Anxiety and Not Eating Gives Me Anxiety

    Lately, I feel that the way I've lived for years—in hyperconscious, hypervigilant awareness of everything I put in my mouth—no longer serves to quell my depression and anxiety. It actually exacerbates it.

  • The Smell of Depression

    It seems like I've divided my feelings into categories, the way that one might do with fragrance types: floral, citrus, earthy, smoky, gourmand, spicy.

  • Everything Is a Drug

    I've been in the crystal game for less than a year and already my thoughts and well-being have become controlled by quartzes, amethysts, tourmalines, and calcites.