Carlton Férment

There are going to be 184 new emojis you can smash into your phone.

They should probably just smoke a joint and chill out.

They're advising guests not to wear their best outfits, because they're probably going to end up covered in human blood.

Iowan teenager Brady Olson should be commended for his piss-taking.

"He was trying so hard to impress the opposite sex that he ended up dancing the crap out of himself," a friend said.

"I would rather get hit by something than let it hit them," she said about the police officers behind her, all of whom were wearing body armour.

The Luftwaffe's 100-year goal of destroying the East End finally seems to be over.

Jim Atherton says he misses bacon sandwiches and his sausage dogs.

Larry and Daniel Lennox-Choate say they left the assailant "covered in his own blood".

The 55-year-old from Glasgow has had his licence revoked after the passengers complained to police.

More than 400 sex abuse victims in Britain have been affected.

Apparently, the flight would have burned 200 gallons of aviation fuel.