COLLEGE

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  • T. Kid's Amazing Bongs

    One perk of writing this column is getting free stuff from time to time. The best free items were the bongs that arrived in the mail a few weeks ago. As I placed my gorgeous new pipes on my shelf, I remembered some of the glass that came and went over...

  • The World's First Commercially Available Cyborg Is a Cyborg Cockroach

    Next month, Backyard Brains will begin selling the Bluetooth RoboRoach, the first cyborg to be commercially available to the general public. Priced at $99.99, the product is cheap and simple to use. After a “brief surgery,” users attach an electronic...

  • Bol the Acid Tripper

    The first time Bold took acid, he had a bad trip. But by junior year of college, Bol was spending time with a group whose parties could best be described as hippy raves. Over the next few months, Bol underwent a transformation that left him in...

  • The Guy Who Was Raped by a Girl

    Charles was a charming, mellow kid. He was sharp, but had a really goofy sense of humor, which is why I couldn’t tell if he was joking when he told me a girl had raped him.

  • What I Remember from Getting an MFA in Creative Writing

    On my first day in the dorms I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and saw reflected in the mirror an older woman naked in a bathtub behind me. I’d heard the dorms at my school were haunted, having been built in the late 1800s or something, but when...

  • I Quit Smoking Weed to Study for the LSAT

    Since I started regularly smoking pot at age 16, I’ve only quit smoking a few times. Most of those times were involuntary, like when I studied abroad in Tokyo, where decent weed was so scarce that I was driven to drink. The only time I voluntarily...