HELP! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MALKMUS? $$REWARD$$

Artistic rendering by author. Sorry.

I am an old lady whose glory days were in the 90s and thus I am a huge Pavement superfan. I’ve gone to their shows in Central Park for the last two nights (awesome) and I’m going again tonight. Last night I was bonding with funny fashion blogger Elizabeth Spiridakis over our intense young lust for Stephen Malkmus and we both freaked out teenybopper-style upon realizing we both had this one photo of him taped up in our rooms when we were youngsters. The photo showed Malkmus’s head in glorious profile (replete with regal nose and ginormous adam’s apple) with an electric guitar perched on his head, and the guitar had “THIS GUITAR IS MY BRA STRAP” or something like that scrawled on it. At least that’s how we remember it.

WE NEED TO FIND THIS PHOTO.

At first we thought it was from Spin magazine circa 1993-94, but we searched the magazine’s entire archives on Google Books and it’s not there. We are positive the photo was on that thin kind of matte paper, so now we think it had to be from Rolling Stone, whose archives are not online (jerks). So, before I send a poor (or lucky!?) intern to the midtown library to scour through two or three years worth of back issues, I thought I would ask if anyone either knows where to find this photo, or has a copy they can loan us or scan for us or something. Any clues are helpful and much appreciated. We are also offering a REWARD to the first person who can successfully procure a quality scan of said photo (email it to vice@viceland.com with “MALKMUS LUST” in the heading), and that reward is… I don’t know… how about a free year’s subscription to Vice! That is a good reward! Anyway, I hope this works. Make an old lady happy in her golden years. Thanks!

AMY KELLNER