NEW YORK – PERV MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

There are some things that just shouldn’t be written. Such as erotic letters from college guys to teenagers. A friend of ours hung on to this “message in a bottle” (like literally, the dude put it in a bottle) for a long time and recently revisited it while digging through some old junk. It’s an expository love letter that details the author’s perverted fascination of watching the addressee undress through her bedroom window. Then he comes in and basically starts to rape her (except, in his mind, she wants it or something like that woman in Straw Dogs). We’re not going to get into exactly how fucking creepy this thing is, but suffice it to say she was unable to make it to the last page because reading “The soft, warm feeling of your breasts. They melt in my mouth, and so does your body” made her eyes burn like they had a UTI. Keep reading if you want to see just how bad it can get.