Don't risk going back to work, unless your job is of vital importance to the nation. For instance: cleaning up my mess.
The birth of the Prime Minister's new child has put a smile on the nation's faces, despite the thousands and thousands of deaths all around us.
It's all your fault.
My battle with the woke thought police showed me that it's time to act.
DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL NEXT CULTURE WAR TALKING POINT. CHEERS x