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This Flowchart is the Least Painful Way to Decide Where to Party in NYC on Halloween

From a seventy-two room gothic mansion masquerade to rooftop afterhours on Sunday morning, here's how to navigate this weekend's festivities.

by Dance Bitch
Oct 26 2016, 6:10pm

Chart designed by Hana Song

Dance Bitch is a Brooklynite who posts intel about her favorite parties—along with insider tips on things like how to find the secret warehouse location or get on the guestlist—for New York's underground dance community. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook if you know what's good for you. This Halloween, she made a handy flowchart to help you decide which party is right for you. Check it out, along with more details about the events, below.

As per usual, there are too many Halloween events in New York City to choose from this year, which is why I'm here to help you make sense of it all. I've rounded up the best parties in the city, and put them together in one easy flowchart. This way, you can focus instead on putting together a creative and terrifying costume that lets everyone know you're a Halloween pro. Don't be a basic bitch this Halloween; leave that slutty cat look in 2015.

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Sure, you could just hit up one of your regular haunts, but this Halloween I implore you to try something different. Whisk yourself away to a fresh new place, mix up the music with global beats, and immerse yourself in crowd of beautiful strangers. Warehouse parties with long DJ sets, big crowds, grandiose decor, and performances will give you the biggest bang for your buck. Find the real zombies (who have been partying for days) at the Sunday morning afterhours.

My top picks for Halloween 2016 are JunXion Crossroads, You Are So Lucky, and Gala of the Gone (full disclosure: Gala of the Gone is thrown by House of Yes, where I work as the social media manager). JunXion is the multi-cultural crew known for their "choose-your-own-adventure" parties; a ticket to their party on Friday night includes stops at multiple locations and transportation on one of their famous party buses. Saturday night, You Are So Lucky has transformed a seventy-two room gothic mansion into a labyrinth of art, hidden bars, interactive experiences, and spontaneous performances. Leave some energy in your tank for the Gala of the Gone on Monday night at House of Yes, where seances, altars, libations, fruit offerings, tarot readings, and house music will help you commune with spirits of the past. It will be a fitting end to a dizzying weekend of extravagant parties, bad political costumes, and too many lines (all kinds).

Chart designed by Hana Song

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

1. JunXion Crossroads: A Haunted Masquerade

With David Hohme, 2Melo, High & Mighty Brass Band, and more
Fri 10.28 | Multiple Locations
Tickets: $20-75

Global beats, deep house, live music drum circles, fire performances—all in a haunted house. Grab a ticket that includes a ride on their party bus for the full experience.

2. Que Bajo?! De Los Muertos

With La MiniTK del Miedo, Uproot Andy, Geko Jones, and more
Fri 10.28 | House of Yes
Tickets: $20-40

Tropical bass, cumbia, Latin-afro-global sounds. Exorcise your demons on the dancefloor.

3. You Are So Lucky

With Wolf + Lamb, Damian Romero, Tasha Blank, and more
Sat 10.29 | Secret Manor
Tickets: $77

A gothic mansion masquerade including (but not limited to) a 1920s jazz party, hidden bars, night circus, fortune tellers, an abandoned school building, and sunrise afterhours in a chapel.

4. Kostume Kult presents: Zombie Pirates of Oz

Sat 10.29 | Slake
Tickets: $30-50

Burning Man's most devoted costume crew brings zombies and pirates together in a dystopian vision of Oz. You should have a fierce on-theme outfit if you're rolling up to this party.

5. Stranger Things Halloween (8th Annual Masquerade Macabre)

Sat 10.29 | Gemini & Scorpio Loft
Tickets: $20-30
RSVP for location

The famous Gemini & Scorpio loft in Gowanus hosts a party inspired by Netflix horror flick Stranger Things with DJs, live music, games of Dungeons & Dragons, and blanket forts. Costumes required.

6. Gala of the Gone

Mon 10.31 | House of Yes
Tickets: FREE before 10 with RSVP, $15-20,

Sexy seance vibes, Ouija boards, tarot readings, fresh fruit, massages, libations, and sultry house music to help you commune with spirits of the veil.

7. Dope Jams 9th Annual Hallowe'en Ball

Sat 10.29 | Preserved Instincts (Oak Hill, NY)
Tickets: FREE

Find a carpool and get out of the city! Dope Jams' Halloween ball is in upstate New York at beloved record store Preserved Instincts.

WAREHOUSE PARTIES

(Note: The locations for all of these parties are secret and will only being released to ticket holders.)

1. World's End Halloween

Presented by House of Yes and BABËL
With Lee Burridge, Nu, Behrouz, Yokoo and more
Fri 10.28
Tickets: $60-100

BABËL has teamed up with House of Yes to throw an apocalyptic-themed Halloween party at one of my favorite warehouses in Brooklyn.

2. BangOn!NYC: Warehouse of Horrors

With Big Wild, Ott, J.Phlip, Ardalan and more
Sat 10.29
Tickets: $50-130

Large-scale haunted house vibes and freaky shit. "Dress to kill or be killed" —noted!

3. Rinsed: Disappear Here

Fri 10.28
Tickets: $20-50,

Secret lineup, secret location, lots of haze. You can trust the folks at Rinsed to bring you a Halloween affair to write home about.

4. Blkmarket: Трип 2 NY Halloween Party

With Nina Kravitz, Bjarki, Nikita Zabelin
Fri 10.28
Tickets: $30-60

Everyone here will be losing their minds to Russia's First Lady of Techno, Nina Kravitz. Understandably so.

5. Circoloco Halloween

With The Martinez Brothers, Black Coffee, Davide Squillace and more
Sat 10.29
Tickets: $70-90

Ibiza-based party Circoloco lands in Brooklyn and packs a wallop of high-energy house and tech house.

6. Blkmarket & Resolute: Get Spooky

With DJ Tennis, Mano Le Tough, The Drifter, Connie
Sat 10.29
Tickets: $30-60

Collectively, the Blkmarket and Resolute crowd will be partying for three days straight. This is just one of many events they're hosting this weekend. Don't forget to hydrate.

CLUB NIGHTS

1. Fixed Halloween with S U R V I V E

Mon 10.31 | Good Room
Tickets: $10-15 *SOLD OUT, tickets will be available at the door

DJ duo Fixed brings synth group S U R V I V E (best known for their score of Stranger Things) for an affordable Halloween night affair. Wallets rejoice.

2. Boo Yourself

With Danny Tenaglia, Danny Krivit, Simon Heyliger, Paul Raffaele
Sat 10.29 | Output
Tickets: $30-60

Classic house and soul to keep you dancing until sunrise.

3. 38 Halloween

With Zomby & Jack Donoghue [Salem], Doss, Vixen Stepsisters (Presented by 38, a party collective that includes THUMP's associate editor Ezra Marcus as a member.)

Mon 10.31 | China Chalet
Tickets: $20-30

Witch house and kids fresh out of Parsons.

GIMME THOSE DISCO FEELS

1. Mister Halloween Night

Sat 10.29 | Secret Location
Tickets: $30-50

This crowd has probably been partying for longer than you, and sometimes bring their kids to make it a family affair. Not only are you going to put up with it, you're going to love it. Costumes NOT required, come as you are.

2. Kaviar Disco Club x Let Play House x Public Release

Sat 10.29 | Secret Loft

Tickets: $10-20

Local disco DJs spinning vinyl at a secret loft. Warm, welcoming, house party vibes.

3. Tiki Disco Halloween

Sat 10.29 | The Wick
Tickets: $15-25

Everyone's favorite disco crew is keeps the good summer vibes going for Halloween.

MY SOUL BELONGS TO TECHNO

1. UNTER

DVS1, Volvox, Rose E Kross
Sat 10.29
Tickets: $25-40
RSVP for location

UNTER is the best techno party in all of Brooklyn right now. Enough said.

2. Lost Soul 4 Year

Fri 10.28
Tickets: $15-25
RSVP for location

Sell your soul to EBM and industrial-leaning techno.

3. HYTE NYC

Fri & Sat 10.28-29
Tickets: $65-130

International techno brand HYTE puts on a massive two-day Halloween rager.

SUNDAY AM AFTERHOURS

1. Bushwick A/V

With Tim Baresko, Clyde P, and more
Sun 10.30 | Secret Location
Tickets: $15-25
Email somewhereinbushwick@gmail.com for address

A rooftop affair, because climate change means we can still party outside—if the sun doesn't kill us first.

2. Resolute: Why So Serious

Sun 10.30 | Secret Location
Tickets: $20-30
Email resolutersvp@gmail.com for address

Nothing says "I hate sleeping" quite like the minimal techno sound of a Sunday morning Resolute party.

3. Mischief Day Ball

With Bedouin, Chaim (Live), Viken Arman +more
Sun 10.30 | Output
Tickets: $25-40

Mediterranean and deep house vibes to help ease you into your Sunday.

QUEER VIBES

1. The Culture Whore presents: CRYPTKEEPERS

Fri 10.29 | Aviv (496 Morgan Ave)
Tickets: $10-20

Everyone's favorite self-proclaimed "art sluts" throw the queer techno rave of your dreams.

2. Ova the Rainbow: Living Dolls

Tickets: $10-20 (no presale)

The grand opening of beloved queer community arts space The Dreamhouse, formerly The Spectrum. All dolls welcome at this artsy and quasi-psychedelic fundraiser party.

3. MoMA PS1 x Susanne Bartsch

Amber Valentine,Valissa Yoe, W Jeremy and Occupy the Disco
Sat 10.29 | MoMA PS1
Tickets: $18-38

Queen of the drag queens Susanne Bartsch brings the drama to MoMA PS1. You better WERK.

4. Ladyfag presents: Battle Hymn Halloween

The Carry Nation, Honey Dijon, Eli Escobar
Sun 10.30 | Flash Factory
Tickets: $10 with a costume, $15 without (no presales)

The best Sunday night party in the whole city. Worship at the altar of dance.

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