Screech Rules

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was in the process of moving all of the stuff out of my home office/studio and into a different room in my house. Unfortunately, it’s taking a really long time because I keep getting all nostalgic when I’m going through boxes and I’m finding the need to inspect and reflect on every single thing I touch. Pretty much exactly like that show Hoarders… except all of my stuff is awesome. And I’m not obese. Here’s some shit that I got all stoked/distracted by today.

Gay Rodeo Bull Postcard Collector Series from my buddy, Travis Millard. Total side note: That stamp on the right up there reminds me of a weird reverse vagina. (I just deleted and rewrote that sentence about three times because I know my wife is going to be bummed at me for writing it… but sometimes you just gotta speak the truth. And by “the truth” I mean write what a 15-year-old boy would write.)

This might be my favorite piece of mail art that I’ve ever received. You just can’t make this type of a joke with an email. Well, unless your boss reads your email. In which case somebody can totally fuck with you. I wish this was a real club.

What a lot of people don’t know about Screech from Saved By The Bell is that he used to be in a rap group called Public Enemy. Screech rules.

I think I drew this in about 1997 and it might be about the dumbest thing I’ve ever drawn. Or maybe the smartest. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Either way that weird calamari butthole totally grosses me out.

And speaking of being grossed out: Dave Carnie owns (or owned?) a skateboard company called Whale Cock. I tried submitting this as a graphic back in the early 2000s, and for some reason it was rejected. And by rejected I mean that I never got a response. Looking at it now I’m really glad it never found its way onto a skateboard.

Here’s a Gator pin that was made before he went to jail forever for being a murderer. Nothing really funny about that, but a pretty awesome example of 80s graphic design, nonetheless. Hey kids, don’t kill people. It’s super lame.

I love finding these things. I make lists of tricks that I’d like to do on my skateboard toy while somebody films me, but then I never actually attempt to try the tricks because as soon as I step on my skateboard toy I remember how hard it is to make it do anything that I want it to do. Skateboarding is so freaking hard when you’re not coordinated or athletic. It’s almost like it’s a sport or something.

I used to run a gallery in Austin with my friends called Camp Fig. This was my favorite show postcard for obvious reasons. Do something with your friends if you get a chance. It’s so much better than talking shit about what other people are doing with their friends. Unless you don’t have any friends. In which case I’ll let you get back to your shit talking. You lonely turd.

I made this in 1994. It’s still relevant in most situations.

I found this sticker at a thrift store a long time ago and I always wanted to make a skateboard graphic out of it. So I finally did. And then hardly anybody bought the skateboard graphic. And then the end. Good story?

I don’t even know why I kept this thing. Every time I look at it it makes me want to cry. Poor dead kitty (the story says that it died shortly after birth.) And why would this thing go to a creationist’s museum? To prove that God isn’t stoked on cats evolving into Dungeons and Dragons monsters?

I love this polaroid. My buddy Brain sent this to me a long time ago and it never ceases to make me smile. Because Ralphy is a total dick and I’m glad his ass got grounded. Dude had it coming.

I didn’t have time to watch/review a movie this week. My apologies. But if you have a suggestion for a movie you want me to review for next week’s column please type it in comment field below and I’ll have my secretary fax your suggestions to me. She’s a stone cold wiz at the fax.

http://www.msieben.com/

http://www.rogerskateboards.com/

Previously – Scary Skull