Vice Mail

SISTER, SISTER
Vice Vice our Catcher in the Rye Vice Kermit, WV We wish we could have found you when we were down there, Sister Conlon. You’ve opened up a whole new magazine’s-worth of questions and issues in your letter. Suffice it to say that we could always have found more things to report on in Appalachia, because it’s an endlessly fascinating place.

As for the plethora of “fucks” in the issue, we’ll say 20 Hail Marys and 20 Our Fathers. Cool? CANCER CONQUEROR Vice Vice Vice Toronto, O here isn’t really much that we feel qualified or entitled to say in response to this besides that it makes us happy, and “congratulations” and “thanks.” OUT OF OUR LEAGUE Vice Via email Andrew, we’re really glad that you had fun at the Intonation Fest. But, um… We don’t know what to tell you about the whole bipolar/psychotic episode thing. Our advice would be: Go to a really good shrink, really fast. Or just do like the more mentally ill of us here did and self-medicate with whiskey and heroin until you can’t take it anymore, THEN go to a really good shrink (if you don’t die first, which you have a strong chance of doing). So just go to the shrink. CHANGE OF HEART Vice Toronto, ON Johnny Ryan replies:

Nicole,

When I wrote these jokes I was going through a really terrible divorce with my second wife. She took everything. I was dead broke. She turned my children and friends against me and I became a huge drug addict. It was during this time that Vice contacted me about doing this comic page about girls. They took advantage of me when I wasn’t in my right mind. You’ll be happy to know that since then I’ve gone to counseling and things are looking better. I’ve completely quit drawing stupid, mean-spirited comics and have started a new life coaching volleyball for Katrina orphans in New Orleans. I’m taking it one day at a time, trying to turn myself into a better person. Best,
Johnny FORGETTING THE NATIVES Vice Vice Guide to Travel Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee Penticton, BC Clean the crust out of your eyes and look at the back issues on viceland.com. We went and lived on a Blackfeet reservation in Montana and did a whole issue with them.

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Letters are edited for length.