I have been collating screenshots for some time now, not for any particular reason other than I see more of my laptop screen than I do actual reality it feels like sometimes. There is no limit to the bitching and ramdon shit people share with on iChat, and how many odd things I spot online. Anyways, here are some of the better ones from the past 6 months or so.

iChat/G-chat

So one day I am sitting at my desk and I got this. Randomly. I am not sure it was an offer, but needless to say, I didn’t ask.

Hahaha ‘fatally menstruating’, still crack me up. This is one of the best iChat’s in Steve Jobs history. I wonder what goes down in his iChat. Maybe he is working on a new iChat that reads your mind and makes your dinner while you’re using it. And turns you into a complete douchebag.

Ha ha ha. This one rules on so many levels.

So a friend of mine was psyched on her new hair cut/colour, then all her joy was stolen away from her like Michael Barrymore. Somebody in her office copied her. No, she is not 13.

Check out these homoerotic bangers. The bottom one demonstrates the beauty of a good typo.

Some people think that just because they are in type, that they are more believable and can convince you of anything.

Apparently, if I don’t get married I will be damned to an existence of eternal masturbation. I did not know this prior to this message.

Do you trust these women that leave things at your house? Isn’t a bra kind of an integral part of getting dressed? Guys, how many of you have left socks, boxers etc at girl’s houses? No, me neither. Isn’t like an open invitation back to yours or something? I posted it back to her in the end.

So I intro’d a friend to an ex’s buddy, they swapped numbers and she seemed keen. Then she didn’t reply his message so he made his ‘promise’. I do not doubt he will do it either, given half a chance.

A friend of mine is forever belittling the intelligence of our mutual friends, in his mind they/we are all dumb. He dropped this absolute classic the other week. He should be getting this tattooed next I say.

If only I could take this option into the real world.

Viceland

Every now and again I spot some shit on our own site that is truly out of the ball park. Like these guys;

Okay, just to make sure, this is not funny, right?

Ha ha ha, looks like someone downed a bunch of Hatorade before they went on a DOs & DON’Ts comment battle.

This was actually a comment (that got removed, obviously) that was under an article about a Haiti benefit show. Aside from the obvious racism by Anon here, he or she didn’t know what the fuck was going on in Haiti. Maybe it was somebody’s dad, who else uses the word ‘hip’ in this context still?

Random Sites

This was on the Frank Warren (boxing promoter) Wikipedia page. As Wikipedia is written by us the people, sometimes the information on there is a little ‘inaccurate’. on there. A few years ago I dated a Mormon briefly, anyways, I didn’t know what the fuck Mormonism was, so I went to see my trusty buddy Wiki for the run-down. It said they were no good sons of Satan who would rape my mother while making me fuck dad wathcing on. Or something. I had a PC at the time so no screenshot, unfortunately.

Ha ha, can you believe this? Maybe next time I need some washing done I’ll just group email my work. The ‘subject’ still kills me.

It fucking sucked, I am not even lying. Yes, I do find myself funny from time-to-time, and yes, I was definitely high when I wrote that reply.

Nice tab name, this is what I get for reviewing singles. It sucked too.

Really? Maybe that’s why you bought an AC/DC shirt then.

Ha ha ha, gotta love broken English. These are nearly as good as the Italian guy on eBay who list all his tees as ‘not worn’ instead of ‘new’.

I was trying to download something off some Arabic blog and this fucking scary-ass thing kept following me around the screen. I didn’t dare click on either of the three clickables for fear of er, someone putting a jihad on me. Like In Team America.

I REALLY DON’T GET THIS SHIT. Why the fuck would anyone want to be morphed into a Japanese 11-year-old’s wank fantasy? Where are you gonna put it? On your fucking facebook? Also, Zwinky, next time you do one of these, try and make it look a LITTLE like the photo, jeez.

I don’t know, its just a funny captcha is all. Laugh at it. It is where you reside, after all.

Metal distro’s can be so harsh sometimes.

Wow.

Okay, so technically this isn’t a screenshot, but I did screenshot it. Whatever, it fucking owns.