AN INTERVIEW WITH JACKIE COLLINS WHICH WE FORGOT TO POST

Jackie Collins is the younger sister of uber-cougar Joan Collins and has inexplicably sold over 400 million of her books worldwide. We don’t really get it but our friend Anissa LOVES her, has read all her books at least once and has thrown at least two Jackie Collins inspired dress-up parties. When a publicist (who evidently had no idea how unlikely it was that we’d ever run an interview with Jackie Collins) called to ask whether we’d like to interview Jackie about her new book, “Poor Little Bitch Girl,” we were like, “You’re in luck, we’ve got just the person.”

On the night of the interview, watching Anissa timidly dial the American number she’d been given for Jackie was equal parts hilarious and excruciating. It was understandably daunting given that this was her very first interview but after a shaky introduction, messing up the title of the book in her first question, correcting herself and steadying her voice, she pretty much got into the swing of it.

Vice: Hi, my name’s Anissa and I’m calling from Vice Magazine in Australia.
Jackie: Hi, it’s Jackie.

Hi Jackie, how are you?
I’m good, how are you?

I’m very well thank you.
Good.

I’m just calling to have a chat about your new book “A Poor Little Rich Girl,” I mean “Poor Little Bitch Girl.” Can you tell me a bit about the new book.
Well it’s about three girls who all went to high school together – they’re all 25 at the beginning of the book – and one of them goes off to New York and starts running call girls. She gets involved with some bad boys including Frankey Romano, who’s a DJ coke addict and she starts running call girls with him. Her parents are movie stars in Hollywood and her mother gets murdered right at the beginning of the book. The second character is Denver, who’s a Lawyer. She’s very feisty and she gets involved in investigating the murder. The third character is Caroline, who’s working for a married senator in Washington. She goes to him in the first chapter and tells him she’s pregnant and that he needs to leave his wife. He goes nuts and then she mysteriously vanishes.

Right. So is it correct that you’ve written Bobby, Lucky’s son back into this novel?
Yes, Bobby is the fourth character. He runs a crazy club in New York called Louvre and has a thing for this amazing Madonna-like superstar called Zena. I brought Bobby back because my readers are always asking for the St. Angelos all the time.

Lucky is definitely my favorite book. Great, well you’re going to love Bobby in this, he’s really great.

Jackie, in the press release for “Poor Little Bitch Girl,” you’re described as a raunchy novelist and in your books a common theme is strong, sexy, independent female characters – how much of this is a representation of yourself? Do you consider yourself a bit of a feminist? Absolutely, in fact Lucky is the woman I’d like to be and I think a lot of women felt the same way. I’ve had a whole generation of women tell me that if they’ve broken up with their boyfriend and they’re lying on the floor in the bathroom crying, they’ll think, “What would Lucky do?” As a result they’ve stood up and got their lives together. That’s great, right? She’s really been an inspiration to me. I feel like I’ve helped a lot of people through that character.

That’s great. My next question was actually fashion related also: A lot of your books pay a lot of attention to the styling of the characters – in fact your books have definitely inspired my look – so I really wanted to know who inspires you in the world of fashion? Well, I always remember when I was a kid I read an interview with Catherine Hepburn who said she didn’t have time to waste going out to buy clothes, so I took that on board and I’ve adopted a kind of uniform. It’s great because I love jewelery–very unusual jewelery too–I’m a jewelery freak. I will always wear black pants, black boots or heels, a great jacket and fantastic jewelery. It’s really simplified my life a great deal because I don’t have to go running around buying this dress and those shoes and that hat–it’s great for traveling too.

Could you please paint us the scene of your perfect day when you’re having a bit of time out from writing – what you like to do, what sort of music you like, what you like to eat. What’s a day off like? I’m crazy about music – I love everyone from Jay-Z to John Maher to Jason Mraz to Mariah. I’m also very fond of rap and soul and latin music. So I’d listen to some great music and then go out for some spare ribs – there’s a great place in LA called Houston’s and it’s just like being in the South, but even better. I’d catch a movie. Then I’d come home and plant myself on the couch and watch some great TV shows like Dexter and Cougar Town. Then I’d possibly have some delicious chocolates and maybe some coconut shrimp for dinner. Actually that sounds like a great day.

That sounds like an awesome day.
Then I’d get a bunch of magazines too. I really am a pop culture junkie – I like to keep up with what’s going on. When you read it you’ll see a lot of references.

Great. If you were at a karaoke bar, what would you sing Jackie? I would probably sing “I Will Survive”. People love it – they go crazy when they hear that song.

Jackie, I have one more question. I’m still single myself and still like to party and have a good time, so can you give me some advice about how women can stay vital after 30. It’s all to do with your personality and your confidence. I think women need to have more confidence. You look around the world today and what do we see? So many women who have no respect for themselves. You’ve got to have respect for yourself and confidence. Guys respect strong women. Also, learn to take a compliment – remember that in the future. Take my advice and they’ll be flocking around you.

Jackie, you may just have changed my life. I thank you.

ANISSA DOVE